Four years ago today, our lives changed forever. Our hearts doubled in size for the first time and we welcomed our first child into the world. At the time, I'm not sure that we realized exactly how drastically our lives would change that day, but it was a change that has shaped me into the person I am today - a mother.
(Yes my kid has no helmet, is riding downhill and has a sucker in his mouth. He was under the supervision of an unnamed grandmother and I digress...)
Will - you seem so big to me today. Sometimes I look at you and wonder how you became so big overnight. I remember those first few weeks of life with you and how your father and I had no idea what we were doing or how we were supposed to raise you. Our biggest worries were whether or not you would continue breathing if we took our eyes off of you, whether you would ever want to not be held, or if you were getting any nourishment whatsoever after you constantly projectile vomited after every single feeding. These days our worries have transformed into how you are behaving at school or if you'll ever stop walking on your tippie toes.
You are such a joy for us. You are sweet and thoughtful. You are smart and unexpectedly hilarious. Your thought process and insight sometimes keep us smiling for hours after you've long forgotten what you've said. You are such a great big brother. You love Brooks with your whole heart and I truly believe you will do the same with your new baby sister in a few months. After a squabble over a toy, you will hug Brooks and say "I love you Brooks. You're a great brother and a fantastic baby." You love your momma and often chase her to the door for more kisses in the morning or you'll beg for more snuggles at night. You loooovvvveee to help your daddy or your Pappaw with outdoor projects like cutting the grass, weeding the flower beds, digging holes or fixing a board on the deck.
You are a worrier by nature and very cautious when faced with a new situation, whether it be a new friend or a new slide at an unfamiliar playground. I can see your little wheels turning as you try to think through each situation or conversation. You never seem to let things go, often asking about a situation several weeks or even months after it has occured. For example, about 6 months ago we passed a brush fire on the side of the interstate and you asked why the woods were on fire. I half-heartedly replied that someone probably threw a cigarette out of their window. Of course I knew as soon as I made that statement, that I shouldn't have said that because it would send you into a world of panic about what exactly a cigarette was. I tried to explain my way out of that conversation without too much detail for a 3 year old and forgot about it. Two weeks ago, we passed another brush fire on the side of the road and you said very matter-of-factly, "The woods are on fire again. Someone probably threw a cig-red out again." I had to ask you to repeat yourself twice before I remembered our conversation from 6 months ago. You never seem to forget.
I often forget that you're only 4 years old and find myself trying to reason with you like I would an adult. Your little southern accent and mannerisms make you a hit where ever we go. You like to put your hands out like you're explaining something and say "Welllllll, actualllllyyyyy...." when you're trying to reason with someone. Lately, you've been using a lot of new big words like "actually, investigate, vehicle, fantastic, conversation, etc..."
You still suffer from what I call "first child syndrome", which is a little bossiness, a little whininess, and a lot of drama mixed together. You like to get your way, whether that be a corn dog instead of pasta for dinner, going outside when it's too wet, or watching Octonauts when the only thing on is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. You definitely don't like to pick up after yourself and you often manipulate your brother into doing your chores like taking your shoes to your room or picking up your books.
Your favorite things to do include playing outside (especially playgrounds), building forts with the couch cushions, listening to stories - whether it be a book or some made-up story from your Poppa, watching your favorite cartoons (mostly Octonauts), and you've recently started pretending a lot more - pretending that you're a pirate on a ship, pretending to cut the grass, etc....
You are still an incredibly picky eater. Your list of approved foods include chicken nuggets (but apparently not the kind that I just bought from Costco), hot dogs, corn dogs, grilled (soy) cheese sandwiches, some grilled chicken, peanut butter (and sometimes jelly) sandwiches, all fruits, green beans, steamed broccoli, cooked carrots, peas, "mash-me-a-taters" (mashed potatoes), french fries and some sweet potato fries if they are covered in cinnamon. You love soy or coconut yogurt, bacon (which you call "hogskins"), cheese eggs, and waffles or pancakes. You've only recently started requesting syrup for your waffles or pancakes. Up until then, you ate them plain because you absolutely LOATHE having your hands messy or sticky. You seem to have sensory issues - your teachers tell me you don't like to participate in messy projects at school either. You've just learned to eat with a spoon this year and I swear it was because of this issue. Up until this year, you would try the yogurt yourself, drop a little on your shirt or get some on your hands and then FREAK OUT to the point where you refused to eat anymore. You still don't like the mess, but instead of freaking out so bad, you just immediately want it cleaned up - which you're getting better at handling yourself.
You love cupcakes, but only eat the icing. You love candy, especially chocolate, sweet tarts, suckers and chewing gum. You're surprisingly trust worthy with the gum chewing thing. Mostly because you're afraid to swallow it based on your fear that it will "stick to your belly."
You're afraid of the dark and have nightmares on a regular basis. Sometimes you remember them and sometimes you don't. If the dream is severe enough, you will go back to it once you fall asleep again, causing you to be up screaming about every 30 minutes on those awful nights. We have to be very careful about what we say around or to you, and especially what you see on television. Even things that don't scare little kids seem to scare you enough to worry about them for days. You're my little "thinker" I say because you will dwell on one thought for days and worry about the outcome of a situation for much longer than I would guess most 4 year olds do.
You are playing baseball this year, which has been hilarious for your parents to watch. You like to bat, and loooovvvvveeeee to run the bases. You couldn't care less about fielding and you try your best to get off the field during your time in the outfield. I don't think you've gone after one ball all season, but that's one of the things I love most about you - no matter what the other children are doing, you tend to do your own thing. Your favorite toys right now include nerf guns, water guns, your toy horses, your Mobigo, tractors, helicopters, Toy Story toys, Batman and the little hexbug that came in your Easter basket (if we can just quit losing it).
You don't take many naps, only the occasional one when you fall asleep in the car from grandma's house to our's. You love to "stay up late" which usually means we let you fall asleep on the couch rather than in your bed. We started using this as an incentive for better behavior at school and it seems to do the trick when we need it to. For the record, you usually only make it about 30 minutes longer than you would if you were in your bed before we look over and see you zonked out.
You have grown so much this year - physically, mentally and emotionally. You make me so proud when I see you try new things even if you are intimidated. The first time you stood at the plate to bat was extra special for me. You're the youngest kid on your team and you walked right out there with that helmet that's too big and eventually hit the ball. You were so proud when you made it to first base, that I could hear you telling the coach "I hit that ball and ran fast as lightning- just like this!" (and then he had to catch you and bring you back to stand on first :) I was so proud of you that day for not letting your fear of new things stop you from trying.
One of your favorite things in the world are those greeting cards that sing or make noises. So this morning when you crawled into our bed at 6:30AM, we surprised you with a Spongebob card that sings "Happy Birthday" when you open it. You smiled so big and played it over and over. You said "Can I take this to school and show my friends!?" We ended up accidentally leaving the card at home when we dropped you off at school and when I showed up to bring cupcakes for your class, you said "Thanks for the the cupcakes, Mom but I forgot my card at home." That's when I pulled the card out and you were sooooo excited and you smiled sooooooo big as you showed your card to your buddies and teachers. You were such a happy little guy at school today and hugged your mommy so hard for bringing you cupcakes. I'm pretty sure you were happier with that card and those Buzz Lightyear cupcakes than you would have been with any toy I could have given you.
I can't wait to see how you'll grow this year. I know that you'll be such a big helper when your baby sister gets here. You've already offered to let her sleep in your room so that you can check on her :) You are so innocent and such a great little character. I love who you are and I hope that you lose some of the whininess, but keep your strong-willed, head strong nature about you. I want you to always be your own person who never grows tired of snuggling with your momma. Your brother loves you like crazy and your daddy and I could never thank you enough for turning our world upside down 4 years ago and teaching us so much in the years since then. We love you Will!!
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