Something On My Mind...

A few months ago, I began to see a lot of my friends pinning things like 40 Ways to Pray for Your Husband and 8 Tips for Being A Better Wife.  After I read a few of these, I felt so angry and I didn't know why.  I couldn't really say that I don't want be a better wife - I do.  I also couldn't say that I don't pray for my husband, because I do that as well - just not in the ways that these posts were suggesting.   One highly repinned post suggested that I pray certain prayers for my husband.  Some of them sounded logical enough - pray for his relationship with God - okay, sounds good.  Others had me wrinkling my eyebrows - pray for him to continue being a good provider for our family.  Pray for him to resist temptation from other women, etc, etc... huh?  I'm confused - am I praying for my husband or am I praying for ME at this point? Why am I supposed to be spending my time in prayer with Christ keeping my husband from temptation, when I need to be praying that I keep MY OWN head on straight.  When I finished the post, I felt like I was expected to carry the burden of my husband's indescretions.  Like - if he cheats on me, is it because I didn't pray for him enough? OR if his job doesn't allow me to stay at home with our children, is he an inadequet husband and father?  OH CRAP!  What does this mean about me if I sometimes LIKE working outside of the home?? In the post titled 8 Tips for Being A Better Wife, the writer suggested "Don't make your husband ask you twice - if he asks you to do something, do it then and he'll know he can depend on you." Ummmmm - so does this mean that if I have to ask him 25 times to take the trash out that he clearly can't be trusted to feed the children if I have dinner with my girlfriend??  Or do I even get to have friends anymore??  I'm confused.

WHY in the world are we doing this to ourselves?  Why are we becoming so obsessed with proving ourselves to be the most loving, self-sacrificing, all-encompassing wives and mothers on the planet??  I mean, is it not enough that we work hard, whether in the home or at the office, raise our babies and have loving relationships with our husbands?  Why are we not satisfied with that?  It seems these days, it's not enough to pour your kid a bowl of cereal and drop him off at school before a long day at the office.  You're not doing enough if you're not hand sewing your child's halloween treats for pre-k (and lord forbid you don't send a similar small homemade gift for each appropriate federal holiday thereafter!)  You obviously aren't spending enough quality time with your child if she's not reading by age 3.  All of this AND you're not being the "best wife" if your husband asks you twice to pick up his dry cleaning.

I am so over it.  I'm over having discussions about homemade baby food.  Let the kid eat cheerios and bananas and mashed potatoes.  I'm pretty sure that's what I was fed.  I don't want to talk about how long it's appropriate to breastfeed.  That's your business and no one else's.  WHY does it matter to anyone other than the two people participating - unless it's your husband and then don't make him ask you twice to stop!  Geeeezzzz ladies - stop the madness!

And when I say I'm over it - I really mean it.  I am typing this to you from a happy and loving home where my husband warmed up his own leftovers tonight and fed the kids cheese puffs for supper as I walked with a neighbor.  I was the dreaded mother who sent store bought valentines to the pre-k this year and I'm happily registering my oldest for PUBLIC kindergarten next week.  Look - life is hard enough.  I have decided to free myself from the craziness of Pinterest-inspired marriages and MOPS group lifestyles.  I love my family.  I love our life.  And if my husband can't resist the temptation of other women without me spending an hour a day in prayer over it, then we've got bigger problems.  Try it girls - let it go :0)

A Tornado Hits Our Town

We live in a VERY small town.  Think 2 or 3 stop lights.  The city limits span only 4 or 5 miles and the whole town boasts less than 5,000 people.  So when an F3 tornado spanning 1/2 mile wide tears through the middle of your very small town, it pretty much tears the whole town to pieces.  Last Wednesday started out like many other days...

I sent two babies off to Grandma's and Will off to preschool.  The weather forecast promised some nasty weather and we were already under a tornado watch.  I am not afraid of storms in the least (thanks to my dad who used to make me sit in his lap on the porch and watch the storms come through, but that's another story probably better suited for a therapist...) so I brushed off everyone's drama over the weather and pressed on with the day.  Will's preschool director even posted on Facebook about whether or not to cancel school and I commented that "nothing's guaranteed" and that school should continue on. 

By 9:30AM, everyone in my office was buzzing about the weather.  One of my bosses (am I the only one with like 3 or 4 bosses in one building?) came in and started again on the weather.  I said "I'm going to need more coffee if we're going to discuss the weather all day."  Little did I know I would have to eat those words later.

By 10:15, parts of our county were under a tornado warning. The town 20 miles south of us was in the path of a storm, but nothing for Adairsville.  At 10:45, my father-in-law called to tell me that instead of waiting until noon to pick Will up, he wanted to check him out early.  He "didn't like the weather" and I told him it was okay to pick him up early.  I laid my phone down and walked away from my office.  I went into my co-worker's office and scoffed about an over-protective grandpa being worried about his grandson.  Boy would I feel like an idiot later...

At 11:08, I went back to my office and noticed a missed call from Will's school.  The call had come at 10:58.  When I tried to call back, the office administrator answered and said "Will has just been picked up.  We were trying to get all the kids checked out, but he's already gone.  We're taking shelter now" and that was it.  I walked out of my office, with my phone in my hand.  There were no sirens going off.  I walked in front of the windows that face the back side of the bank, looking south towards Will's school (1/2 mile away).  The sky was dark and gray but nothing I hadn't seen before.  I mentioned to my co-worker that the clouds look low and creepy - almost like they didn't know where to go.

It was 11:15 at this point and I walked away from the windows and out into the bank lobby.  A customer came into the lobby, saying that the ATM was out of order.  As I went to help this customer, I heard, what we in the south call a "commotion" coming from the window I had just left.  My co-workers had spotted the funnel cloud moving toward the bank from the south.  And just like that, the lights started flickering.  Still no sirens.  After 15-20 seconds of flickering lights, the power went out for good.  People poured out of their offices, someone locked the front door to the bank in the dark, we grabbed the customer who was still upset about the ATM and ran for the vault.  10 adults in a very dark, 8X10 vault.  As soon as we were in the vault, my phone started lighting up "Are you taking cover?" "Are you okay?"  "Tornado in Adairsville. U ok?"  I sent a mass reply "In vault.  No power.  Funnel came right at us."

From the vault, I could see the windows in the lobby.  I saw gray.  That's all I saw.  I couldn't tell you if it was clouds, debris, or rain - it was just like a solid gray blanket hung over the windows.  We didn't hear the "train" you hear people who've lived thru tornados talk about.  To me, it sounded more like the sky growling at us.  Like a rolling thunderous growl.  After about 3-5 minutes the growling stopped and we heard police sirens - LOTS of police sirens.  We figured if the police were driving down the road, we were probably clear to come out of the vault.  We were all pretty quiet as we each tried to get enough cell service to call our loved ones.  More police flew by.  Ambulances and firetrucks flew past too.  I called to check on my kids (who were not in Adairsville).  They were fine.  I called Brandon (also not in Adairsville).  He was fine - just concerned about me and the house.  OH CRAP THE HOUSE.  I knew that the tornado had come directly at the bank from the south side of town.  Right where my neighborhood is.

I grabbed my keys and tried to get to the car.  The torrential rain was too much.  I wasn't going to be able to leave the bank.  I tried to get my neighbors.  After a few tries, my neighbors confirmed that our neighborhood was okay.  I relaxed.  My family and home was safe.  The 10 of us found seats in the dark lobby of the bank and listened to COUNTLESS emergency sirens fly by.  The roof started pouring water in several different spots.  We were all kind of emotionless as we shoved trash cans under the water.  Rumors were starting to pour in via text and Facebook.  Adairsville was gone.  The one grocery store was demolished.  I got wind that my son's school had been hit.  The same school he was at 15 minutes before the whole nightmare began.  I immediately asked God to forgive me for being a crappy mom (at least that's what I felt like) and thanked Him for keeping His hand on my family.

After several hours in the dark bank, with no food and soaked to the bone from my one attempt at leaving, a co-worker and I got in the car in search of food.  All we could see was the incredible amount of emergency vehicles everywhere - from counties and cities all over the state.  We knew that it was bad, but couldn't really tell the extent of the damage.  We found food in a neighboring town and tried to bring it back to our stranded co-workers.  The state patrol officers at the edge of town gave us a hard time about getting back into town, but we eventually made it back to the bank.

At 4:00, we decided it was time to try to get home.  Every.Single.Road between the bank and my house was closed due to damage.  The damage was horrendous.  People standing in the road where their homes used to stand.  Emergency crews everywhere.  Trees lying in the road and on homes.  The whole town smelled of wood.  Like a lumber yard - except it was from trees that were splintered by the storm.  There were mattresses, clothing, and home insulation in the trees that were still standing.  It was all too familiar to the storm damage 2 years ago on my in-law's farm.  After a 40 minute drive to my house that's 1/2 mile from the bank, I made it home.

Home was good.  Home was great.  The storm missed my home by about 200 yards.  Since the storm, I have thought MANY times about how a storm 1/2 a mile wide can split the 3/4 of a mile distance between my home and my office and not hit either place directly.  I've spent lots of time thanking God for my father-in-law and his decision to go get my baby before the tornado hit his school.

So many people have reached out to me - via phone, text, and Facebook.  I really appreciate everyone's concern.  We feel very loved and most definitely blessed beyond measure :)

Tessa @ 5 Months

....(I waited and waited to post this because I couldn't upload pics for some reason.  I still can't, but want to post it.  So maybe next post I will have some pics...)

Miss Tessa is 5 whole months old now.  She's had a few new developments this month too!  Her little personality is so sweet.  She laughs and tries her best to get the attention of everyone in the room by jabbering and growling (ha!).  She loves her brothers and lights up when they come near her.  She reaches for their little faces and she especially loves Will's glasses.  I can tell that she's going to be a little spit fire though - when the boys get rowdy and rambunctious, she laughes and gets loud with them!

We introduced solids this month.  She is so NOT a fan.  We started with rice cereal and got lots of gagging so after a few nights, we moved on to oatmeal.  She tolerated that better.  After oatmeal, we moved to peas.  More gagging.  After peas she had carrots.  She refused to open her mouth after 2 bites.  After a few battles over carrots, I offered pears.  She gagged AND shivered.  After pears I tried sweet potatoes.  She also tolerated sweet potatoes okay.  So she will eat oatmeal and sweet potatoes without gagging.  She still makes lots of funny faces though :)

Her sleep schedule is the same and she now has a pretty standard 7:30 to 8:00 bedtime.  With Will, we were so regimented with his bedtime routine that he would NOT go to sleep unless the routine happened just so - bath, lotion, pjs, book, bottle, bed.  With the 3rd child, we do good to get 2 of those steps accomplished each night.  She sometimes gets a bath at grandma's - sometimes at 6, sometimes just before bed.  Sometimes she gets lotion.  She never gets a book (bless her).  But she always get pjs!  And a bottle!  So I'm not so terrible I guess :)  She sleeps soundly until 6am and then rustles around for her paci.  She will sleep until 7:30/8:00 if she's able to, but most mornings she's out the door by 7. 

She rolls from belly to back as soon as you put her on her belly.  She is bringing everything to her mouth - including her paci when she can find it!  She also has two little teeth!  I noticed the first one on her exact 5 month birthday.  The second one wasn't far behind.  Sooo cute.  She has done pretty well with the teething - a tiny bit fussy some nights and lots of drooling and keeping one little finger in her mouth, like so:

One of the most noticable changes this month has been her discovering her little voice more and more.  She is hilarious and often growls and almost hums (I don't know how to really describe it) to get attention.  For example, if I put her in her swing to do something else for a while (laundry, deal with other kids, etc...) she will start by crying and if I just can't get to her fast enough, she starts the growling.  So funny!

She still enjoys her playmat (I often lay her there to get a few things accomplished and she stays so quiet that I almost forget she's there!), her exersaucer and being held (of course).  She's starting to really get tired of her bouncy chair and swing, BUT she's still getting plopped down in them of course.  She spits up less in them than lying flat on her back or sitting straight up (in the exersaucer or bumbo).  She still spits up quite a bit, but no worries - all of our babies have done that.  Still nowhere near as bad as Will did.  He holds the record for sure.

Goals for 2013

To be honest, I've never made a New Year's resolution.  In my whole life.  Ever.  I don't know why.  It's not that I don't believe in them - I'm always supportive of people setting goals and trying to better themselves and their lives.  In truth, I've never been one to set a resolution because I just don't like the idea of putting the extra pressure on myself.  But I do like the idea of setting goals and really striving to meet those goals.  That doesn't seem so daunting.  So I've decided to put pen and paper (or in this case - fingers to keys) to my goals and get them out of my head.  That way at the end of the year, I can take a look back and see how well (or not so well) I did.  So let's discuss:

Get Organized!!
This is something that I generally struggle with.  Not because I don't start out organized, but because I have a hard time maintaining that organization.  When I'm short on time, patience or sleep I tend to let the details slip little by little and then next thing I know, I'm an unorganized mess again.  I plan to maintain better organization this year by:

• Implementing a family organization "bible" if you will.  This will actually be my 2nd year to own one of these awesome little planners.  I LOVE it.  In 2012, this was my only source of organization and I'm building on it this year.  I can't say enough great things about the "life planner".  It's especially well suited for our large family.  I carry it in my purse and take it to work, as well as all of our appointments. 
• Set a weekly meal plan.  Hopefully, these will be written in said planner.  I usually only buy our main supply of groceries every two weeks, so this may end up being a two-week meal plan thing so that I can have all groceries on hand.  At the rate I'm at now, I feel like I am in the grocery store 3-4 times a week buying one or two items that I have forgotten or that we've ran out of and that is the LAST place I want to be after working all day.
• Get the house organized in a more functional way.  Sighhhh - I'm not sure how I'm going to do this one.  I'm not even really sure how to describe what I mean.  We completed the playroom last year in hopes that the Toys R Us showroom would move out of our living room and down to one organized spot.  But we still have things in our living room and kitchen areas that I would like to see in other places - legos, playdough, board games, craft supplies - all things that I don't necessarily trust them with alone in the playroom.  Also up for organization - magazines, kitchen areas (mail/paper dump baskets, pantry, cabinets and drawers), living room bookshelves, etc. 
• I also want to implement some sort of chore/responsibility system for the boys.  Not so much to pay them for (cause hey jack! I don't get paid to do those things either!) but mainly to teach them to be good boys who help around the house.  I also want to start teaching them about saving money too -  I just haven't figured out how to separate the two yet.  If you guys have any suggestions, let me know. 

Update The Kitchen!
Not a full "dream" update (cabinets, countertops and appliances) but most definitely paint, possibly a backsplash, and few other minor updates.  This is the only room in our house we haven't updated in the last couple of years and I HATE seeing the little finger prints on the dirty paint.  The magic eraser thing has gone as far as it can go.  I just have to decide on a color.  I want simple, clean and light, but I have medium cabinets and black appliances.  Who has suggestions - anyone???

Cook More!
We always eat at home (we may eat out 2xs a month) plus we eat at my in-law's once a week, but I feel like we're always eating the same things or taking the easy way out.  I'm hoping my meal planning will help.

Have More Fun As A Family!!
Here's the deal - both parents work Mon-Fri and at least 2 Saturdays a month.  This leaves 6-7 whole days a month for us to NOT work.  2-4 of those off days are spent cleaning the house, working in the yard, or other obligations (birthday parties, family gatherings, etc.)  Soooo when we get a day off, we tend to spend it lounging at home with the babies.  That's awesome and we really cherish those days, but Will's impending Kindergarten entrance has helped me realize that our babies are growing up and I want to spend our days making lasting memories with them.  I want to make more of an effort to take them out for fun.  Could be the park, could be weekly family nights, could be the zoo, could be Alaska... who knows?!  Let's just do it!

Be A Better Wife!
Let's face it - I'm a pretty amazing wife, but I want to be better.  I kid I kid ;)  With three little people climbing over each other to get to me and talking over each other to talk to me, it exhausts me.  I really don't see those things changing, but I do hope to carve out more time for one-on-one with Brandon.  I'm hoping we squeeze in a few "couple" trips this year, as well as make it a point to have more meaningful conversations and time together, rather than just using our time together to discuss the kids and clean the house.  I won't be slaving to pack his lunches or have his playstation controller all ready for play, but I do love him and want him to feel just as important to me as our 3 munckins because he IS.  One day these crazy kids precious babies will move out and it will just be the old man and me.  What happens if we don't nurture and keep that relationship current?  Why do you think so many people get divorced at 50 years old after 25 years of marriage?  They just spent 25 years raising kids and NOT maintaining the one relationship that brought those kids into the world.  It happens people.  I won't let us be one of them.  I love me some Brandon - and I want us to have those same feelings when we're 50.

So there it is... the things I would like to see happen this year.  No definite timelines, but definitely things to implement this year to make me a better person, mommy and wife.  I think I can I think I can I think I can....

Santa Came!!

When I was a child, Christmas was the like the grand finale of the Disney World firework show.  We ended each year with SANTA and what could be better than that!?  I actually remember feeling sorry for my parents as I got older because Santa didn't bring the adults as much and I remember thinking how terrible that must be.  But now that I'm an adult, I must say - Christmas is even better than it was as a child.  Will is finally understanding Christmas and his excitement was worth every single second of searching, buying, wrapping, decorating, and planning.  Brooks of course was excited on Christmas morning too - but Will was through the roof!

Santa left each boy a letter explaining how good they had been this year and what things he would like to see improvement on next year.  Will exclaimed "Mom!  Santa said I had been a good boy!  I was worried that I wasn't!  AND" he said "TODAY IS JESUS' BIRTHDAY!!!"  It was so cute!  Santa also said in his letter that Brooks' gifts were in green paper and Will's were in red.  I know lots of Santas do not wrap.  But ours does for 2 reasons - first - this is the only way that I have figured out how to keep one child from claiming another child's gifts.  If they are concentrating on unwrapping their own gifts, they don't pay too much attention to what their brother is getting.  Secondly, this method of unwrapping slows them down long enough for me to almost see their reaction to each toy.  Eventually - when the children are a good bit older - I would like for them to take turns opening gifts just like I grew up doing, but I realize we have a while before I can expect that to happen.

Onto the gifts - boy did Santa deliver this year!

For Will, Santa brought a new 16" Schwinn bike, an Imaginext castle & dragon, Lego City legos + additional legos, a new Nerf gun, a new toy truck & horse trailer, a case for his Mobigo & a Jake & the Neverland Pirates game, a new board game, hexagon blocks, Madagascar 3 Blu Ray, Under Armour, a new playdoh crane, a matchbox sized helicopter (he loves helicopters), 2 new books, a Lego man flashlight key chain, and lots of other little items to fill his stocking.

For Brooks, Santa brought a red Plasmacar, a huge new Schleich wooden barn set, a mircrophone on a stand (the only thing he asked for), Lego Duplo Farm set + additional legos, a new Nerf gun, a new truck and horse trailer, a new board game, new Automoblox, a take apart crane, Mickey Mouse on the Farm DVD, Under Armour, a new playdoh crane, a matchbox sized space shuttle, 2 new books, a Lego man flashlight key chain, new toy animals for his farm, and plenty of other things to fill his stocking.

And Santa certainly did not forget Miss Tessa!  He brought her a huge new picture frame from this Etsy store that she's been dying for (ha!), a Fisher Price play table, a Cabbage Patch doll, a Jelly Cat stuffed bunny, 4 new books, lots of new frocks from Matilda Jane, a sippy cup with her name on it, and tons of teethers and clutching toys.

We had such a great morning.  The kids were so very happy with everything that they received.  Around 10:30, we packed up and headed to my mom's for our annual Christmas morning brunch.  My brother grilled steak & eggs, my dad made fried pork tenderloin, and my mom made french toast, biscuits and bacon.  And of course, our Christmas morning mimosas!  We ate and then enjoyed watching the kids tear through more gifts.  My boys love my niece and nephew and are "best fwends" so they had a big morning there too. 

After a few hours at my parent's house, we made the trip to Brandon's family farm for more gift exchanging and Christmas dinner with his family.  The kids had more fun and Nonna & Papa gifted them with iPod touches, toy trumpets, and a new ball pit (both of which we "accidentally" left at their house).  My mother-in-law made turkey & dressing, ham, and all the other traditional holiday favorites.  By this time, Will was completely beside himself to get back home and play with his toys.  If he asked once, he asked 1,000 times when we were going home.  Once we finally got home, I let them stay way up past their bedtime playing with all of their new toys and gadgets.

We had such a wonderful Christmas this year, but I definitely see a few changes in store for next year.  No more leaving the house on Christmas day.  Our kids have finally reached the age where they want to stay home and play with their new things and that is exactly what I plan on letting them do next year.  The rest can be rearranged.

Three days later, Will's favorite gifts have proven to be the Imaginext batcave (a gift from my mom), the Imaginext dragon castle, Brooks' barn, legos, the tiny toy helicopter and playdough.  It's really been too cold/windy/rainy to go out and ride his new bike but we're hoping to get to do that this weekend.  Brooks' favorites are Will's batcave, the barn, playdough and his microphone.  He has also enjoyed scooting around the house on his plasmacar, but we'll get it outside (or at least in the garage) this weekend.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.  I gathered from Facebook that many of you were under the weather this Christmas, but I hope that the Christmas spirit found you anyway.  In light of the tragedies that have happened in the last few weeks, I know I was very grateful to have my little family of 5 together this holiday.  Now onto the next holiday - Happy New Year friends!

Tessa @ 4 Months

Our baby girl is 4 months old.  I always feel like 4 months marks the point where the baby becomes less of a newborn and more of a little person.  It seems like around the 4 month mark is where they begin making so many new discoveries and accomplishments at such a rapid pace that I can't keep up with them all.  My case in point - Tessa rolled over for the first time (that I saw - I think she's done it once at Grandma's) last night.  She was lying on her play mat on her belly (which she really isn't crazy about) and rolled right over to her back.  Both Brandon and I happened to be in the floor with her, so it was a great moment for us. 

She weighs 14 pounds and 7 ounces, putting her in the 55th percentile.  She is 26 inches long, which puts her in the 96th percentile for length. She's officially in size 6 month clothing.  Some 3-6 month still fit, but are becoming shorter and shorter.  We've also graduated to size 2 diapers.  We haven't started any solids yet, but we will probably start cereals this week.  I know a lot of people wait until the 6 month mark - I don't.  I started at 4 months with my boys and it worked well, so we'll just stick with what works for us.  She takes 5 ounces every 3-4 hours (closer to 3) and 6 ounces before bed.

She has hit a rough patch with her sleep this month - she got her first little cold about a week ago and it really messed with her sleep.  Because she is so congested, she has started crying out in the middle of the night.  I have to go in and clean her little nose out and get her calmed down.  We don't feed her, we don't turn the lights on (except her lamp).  She goes back to sleep with no problems until her little nose becomes stuffy again.  We have elevated her mattress, used the humidifier and vapor plug ins.  She has the vicks rub on her chest and feet.  It's just one of the many annoyances of being an infant I think - a stuffy nose and not much you can do about it :(  She also had her first fever and bout of pink eye this month, a lovely gift from her brother Brooks.

She is still being swaddled for bed and doesn't try one bit to break free.  I think she knows that once she does, she'll be forced to sleep unswaddled. HA!  I know that's something we'll have to tackle shortly and I seriously DREAD it.  She is still "happy happy happy" for the most part and continues to be my most easy-going child. 

Acheivements this month include:

• Rolling over (from tummy to back)
• First fever :(
• First trip to the mall (& Toys R Us, which she apparently hates as bad as I do because she cried the whole time)

A Few (Christmas Buying) Suggestions

When you have 3 kids, you become "seasoned" in lots of areas - how to feed a baby without slowing down, the best way to calm a coughing child, and how to give a gift to a child among many others.  When I have time, I like to browse other mommy blogs and I'm always amazed at the gift suggestions or wish lists that they post for children.  I'm always thinking Ha!  That will never be used. or That will break in five minutes.  or ohhh their momma is going to HATE you for that! 

So just in case a small child is on your Christmas list this year, I have a few (Rutledge) kid-tested, mommy-approved suggestions.  These are all items that we personally love, play with, and abuse on a daily basis.  Some are inexpensive and others are more costly.  One thing that my mommy friends and I can agree on is that we would rather have NO gift at all than a gift that will break quickly or not get played with.  

Let me start by saying that if the child is less than a year old, no matter how much you want to believe that the child will love and adore whatever gift it is that you're buying, you're wrong.  The child will not care one bit about opening gifts.  If the toy feels good on their gums or lights up, you might have a winner, otherwise you will be better off buying things that the child needs like gift cards for clothes or shoes, diapers, bigger car seats, things for their room, etc.  I know that's no fun, but I'm just trying to be honest.  

On to the things I can attest for:

Fisher Price Little People Farm

This was given to Will on his first birthday and BOTH boys still play with it on a daily basis.  It still looks brand new.  We have misplaced most of the animals that came with this set, but they put any and all of their plastic farm animals in this barn.  Seriously - best toy ever. 

Anything by Imaginext

I guess this is the "big kid" version of the Little People sets.  We already have several of these sets, but Will has asked for both the Batcave AND the Castle this Christmas.  These are virtually indestructible and come with lots of available accessories to keep the kiddos engaged.

Pottery Barn Anywhere Chair

There are lots of varieties of this type of chair out there, but this is the only one I can speak for.  The boys use these on a DAILY basis in their playroom.  Obviously to sit and watch movies in, but other uses currently include fort building, and tumble mats (think turn upside down and jump off of).  They've survived the test of Rutledge time.  And that says a LOT.  This is a great gift for those under 12 months old because they won't be disappointed that it's not a toy, and they WILL use it.  I would imagine a 4 year old would be upset to find this under the tree, although it's still completely a great gift - just not a toy.  Our boys were given these by their dad and me on their first birthdays.

Automoblox

These are great.  Our boys love them.  They don't make noise or need batteries (2 parent points) and they keep the kids engaged for a LONG time switching the tires and other various parts around.  They're made of wood, so they're sturdy too.  I would suggest waiting until at least 2 1/2 for this toy (smaller parts and all).  But totally awesome.  They also make the girl varieties in pink and purple.

Other things that have made great gifts in our house include books, movies, train table, Mobigo game system, Melissa & Doug floor puzzles, flashlights of any fashion, and rain boots (ALWAYS a hit here for some reason).

These are just our tried and tested suggestions.  I would gift any of these to either a boy or a girl but at this point it's fair to say that I have more experience with the boys.  I would also suggest asking the parent for ideas.  Each child is different and the parent would know what they want/need.  

I hope this helps!