An Evening In My Shoes...

I've always said that my hardest job starts after I leave the bank.  The hours of 6PM - 9PM are "go time" in our house.  I mean - it is a real zoo at the Rutledge house in the evenings.  I'm not so sure that people always take me seriously, so today I am giving you a recap of my evening yesterday.  Brace yourself.

5:20PM - I walk in the door, check the mail and change clothes.  Brandon hasn't gotten home with the kids yet, so I breathe in the quiet air and put on my tennis shoes.

5:30PM - I meet my neighbor on the sidewalk for one of our usual walks.  I really walk for my mental health more than my physical health.  It's a total sanity saver.   Have I mentioned to you all that I'm doing The Color Run this Saturday?? Yea - not ready for this one at all.

6:20PM - I am done with my walk and my family is home.  I walk in the back door to Brooks who meets me with a big happy smile and yells "We're cuttin' the gass momma!  I go with Daddy!" Brandon confirms that he's taking the boys outside to cut the grass.  Tessa's crying in her exersaucer because Brandon walked out of her line of view, so I go to pick her up.

6:23PM - Brandon asks the boys to go change pants before cutting the grass.  Brooks immediately goes to change clothes.  Will simultaneously starts whining that he loooovvvvveeeessss his current pants (pj pants) and doesn't want to change them.

6:25PM - Will is pitching a royal fit and still in pajamas.  He's literally crying so hard you would think his leg has been torn off.  (I'm going to let you in on a dirty little Rutledge marriage secret - the biggest source of angst in my marriage comes from Brandon saying one thing, and me saying another.)  So even though I couldn't care less if the child wears pajamas to cut the grass, Brandon said change clothes and I am sticking by him.  Will has to change to go outside.  I tell him that he has to stay inside with me until he can calm down, stop whining and change pants.

6:35PM - Tessa is in high chair with a Mum Mum (I really don't know what that is other than to say it looks like a disgusting baby rice cake - but she loves those things!)  Will is still crying.  I get all the ingredients for meatloaf out.  Brandon has been asking for meatloaf every night for at least a week and this is my late attempt to please him.

6:40PM - I put Will at the table with crayons, scissors, pencils and a few workbook pages.  He's still upset (and in his pajamas) and this is my feeble attempt at distracting him long enough to get the meatloaf in the oven.

6:41PM - Will is crying because he can't cut straight on the lines of his workbook page.  I remind him that he picked that page (not me) and that he can choose another page if he likes.  I still haven't touched the meatloaf.

6:45PM - Will has decided to practice handwriting rather than cutting, so I give him a new page & throw away the one he gave up on, give a crying Tessa her second Mum Mum and move back to the meatloaf ingredients. 

6:50PM - I have my bowls all ready to go - measuring cups are out and I'm about to get elbow deep in the ground beef when Will starts crying because he's noticed that I threw away the old sheet and he was "going to keeeeepppppp itttttttt."  I put on my best patient face and get down on his level - I explain that we can get a new sheet, but that he needs to calm down so that he can go outside with Brooks and Daddy.  He remembers that Brooks and Daddy are outside and goes storming off to his room screaming at the top of his lungs.  I try think about all the things that I love about him, instead of the fact that I want to strangle him.

7:00PM - Before I get all messy with ground beef, I decide to move Tessa from her high chair to the floor so that I don't have to worry about giving her snacks with ecoli hands.  Will is still crying in his room.  I shut his door to block out the noise.

7:05PM - I start dumping ingredients as fast I can into the mixing bowl.  I mix the ground beef in with my hands. 

7:06PM - Will is now kicking something in his room.  I swear under my breath and put everything back in the bowl.  I wash my hands, dry them off and walk to Will's room.  Tessa sees me walk past her room and she starts crying too.

7:10PM - I ask Will why he's crying and he says (while crying) that he doesn't know.  He's been crying for almost an hour now.  My mommy senses make me think something else is going on.  I check for fever - no fever.  I finally get him calmed down by giving in and telling him he can go outside if can change clothes and put his shoes on.  I put some blinky noisy toys in front of the crying baby and head back to the meatloaf.

7:15PM - Still mixing the meatloaf and Tessa is crying so hard that she's holding her breath.  I look at the raw ground beef in front of me and seriously consider licking it, in hopes that a good case of ecoli would mean I could lie in bed alone for a few days.  I wash my hands again and go pick her up.  I put her back in her high chair and give her another pack of baby rice cakes.  I wonder if too much rice will make her tummy hurt, but I'm too stressed to think of another solution.  She takes it, and eats it still crying.  It's her bed time and at this point I consider the time and the fact that the meatloaf takes more than an hour to cook.  I make the decision to let her cry and hurry through with getting dinner in the oven so that we can eat before 9PM.

7:16PM - Will comes into the kitchen and asks for help with his shoes.  I don't want to set him off into another crying fit, so I wash my hands and agree to help.  The baby is still crying.  And because I've washed my hands about 10 times in 30 mins, my skin feels like it's burning off when I rinse them off.  I want to cry.  I want to take the meatloaf and stick it up Brandon's nose.

7:17PM - Will finally has his shoes on and I say something funny to get a smile out of him.  He laughs and snot flies from his nose into his mouth.  He immediately starts crying AND gagging.  I hurry to get the snot out of his mouth before he pukes.  That is the last thing I need.

7:18PM - I send Will outside, put the meatloaf mixture into the baking dish and wash my hands again.  I'm pretty sure I see my actual skin peel off and go down the drain.  Tessa is still crying, so I go to her first.  Brandon walks in for a drink and I make a smart comment about how much I hope he loves his meatloaf.  He shoots me a look and slams the door as he goes back out into the yard.  That didn't go well.  Siggghhhhh.....

7:30PM - I sit down to feed Tessa.  She's as happy as a clam now that I'm holding her.  I immediately forget about the hell I've just been through and snuggle up to my sweet girl.  I think about how I was just at work 2 hours ago.  It was only 2 hours, but it feels like a lifetime ago.  I think about how different my life is from anyone I work with. 

7:45PM - The boys come in and head for the shower.  I apologize to Brandon for smarting off and he not-so-graciously accepts.

8:15PM - I lay Tessa in her crib and turn out her lights.  One down, two more to go.

8:20PM - The oven timer goes off and I put the topping on the meatloaf and put it back in the oven for 30 minutes.  The boys come bounding into the kitchen asking for their supper.  I consider the time and my energy level.  Knowing Will won't eat red meat anyway, I pop a few corn dogs into the microwave, throw some cheese puffs and applesauce on their paper plates and call it dinner.  Hey - it could be worse. 

8:35PM - The boys are done eating and beg for me to read to them.  We brush teeth, get vitamins, and head to bed with our latest (and first) chapter book - The House in the Big Woods. 

8:50PM - From the boys' bed I hear the oven timer go off.  I hear Brandon get out of his recliner and get the meatloaf out.  He sits it on the stove top.

9:15PM - I finish another chapter of the boys' book and tuck them in.  Two more hugs.  One more tuck in.  Night light on, then off, then on again.  All three children are now in bed.

9:22PM - I walk into the kitchen to find that Brandon has already cut himself a big piece of meatloaf.  There's only one problem with it - the inside is still red.  I ask him if he ate any, because obviously it needs to cook longer.  His answer "I was going to ask you about that.  How much longer does it need?"  I want to cry.  I put it back in the oven, and set the timer for 25 more minutes.  I think about how hungry I am, but also how chubby I am.  I think that the last thing I should do right now is eat meatloaf at 10PM.  So I go to bed.

At 9:30PM I walk into my bedroom, finally take off my sweaty walking clothes, brush my teeth and go to bed.  I don't shower.  I don't take my makeup off.  I feel defeated.  I feel like a crappy mom because 2 out of 3 of my kids cried all evening.  I feel like a cruddy wife because it's late and Brandon hasn't eaten dinner.  And I'm hungry.  So I just curl up in my unmade bed and go to sleep.

And THAT my friends is what a pretty typical evening in the Rutledge house looks like.  Not always - but often.  Does it make you jealous?  Yea - I didn't think so.

Something On My Mind...

A few months ago, I began to see a lot of my friends pinning things like 40 Ways to Pray for Your Husband and 8 Tips for Being A Better Wife.  After I read a few of these, I felt so angry and I didn't know why.  I couldn't really say that I don't want be a better wife - I do.  I also couldn't say that I don't pray for my husband, because I do that as well - just not in the ways that these posts were suggesting.   One highly repinned post suggested that I pray certain prayers for my husband.  Some of them sounded logical enough - pray for his relationship with God - okay, sounds good.  Others had me wrinkling my eyebrows - pray for him to continue being a good provider for our family.  Pray for him to resist temptation from other women, etc, etc... huh?  I'm confused - am I praying for my husband or am I praying for ME at this point? Why am I supposed to be spending my time in prayer with Christ keeping my husband from temptation, when I need to be praying that I keep MY OWN head on straight.  When I finished the post, I felt like I was expected to carry the burden of my husband's indescretions.  Like - if he cheats on me, is it because I didn't pray for him enough? OR if his job doesn't allow me to stay at home with our children, is he an inadequet husband and father?  OH CRAP!  What does this mean about me if I sometimes LIKE working outside of the home?? In the post titled 8 Tips for Being A Better Wife, the writer suggested "Don't make your husband ask you twice - if he asks you to do something, do it then and he'll know he can depend on you." Ummmmm - so does this mean that if I have to ask him 25 times to take the trash out that he clearly can't be trusted to feed the children if I have dinner with my girlfriend??  Or do I even get to have friends anymore??  I'm confused.

WHY in the world are we doing this to ourselves?  Why are we becoming so obsessed with proving ourselves to be the most loving, self-sacrificing, all-encompassing wives and mothers on the planet??  I mean, is it not enough that we work hard, whether in the home or at the office, raise our babies and have loving relationships with our husbands?  Why are we not satisfied with that?  It seems these days, it's not enough to pour your kid a bowl of cereal and drop him off at school before a long day at the office.  You're not doing enough if you're not hand sewing your child's halloween treats for pre-k (and lord forbid you don't send a similar small homemade gift for each appropriate federal holiday thereafter!)  You obviously aren't spending enough quality time with your child if she's not reading by age 3.  All of this AND you're not being the "best wife" if your husband asks you twice to pick up his dry cleaning.

I am so over it.  I'm over having discussions about homemade baby food.  Let the kid eat cheerios and bananas and mashed potatoes.  I'm pretty sure that's what I was fed.  I don't want to talk about how long it's appropriate to breastfeed.  That's your business and no one else's.  WHY does it matter to anyone other than the two people participating - unless it's your husband and then don't make him ask you twice to stop!  Geeeezzzz ladies - stop the madness!

And when I say I'm over it - I really mean it.  I am typing this to you from a happy and loving home where my husband warmed up his own leftovers tonight and fed the kids cheese puffs for supper as I walked with a neighbor.  I was the dreaded mother who sent store bought valentines to the pre-k this year and I'm happily registering my oldest for PUBLIC kindergarten next week.  Look - life is hard enough.  I have decided to free myself from the craziness of Pinterest-inspired marriages and MOPS group lifestyles.  I love my family.  I love our life.  And if my husband can't resist the temptation of other women without me spending an hour a day in prayer over it, then we've got bigger problems.  Try it girls - let it go :0)

Life With Three

This is the first installment of what I'm sure will be many posts on what our lives are like now that we are playing "zone defense" in the Rutledge house.  I read a paragraph in a book recently (notice I said a paragraph) that said "Having two children is like having one and a half.  Having three is like having ten."  And although for us, adding a third child wasn't nearly as difficult as adding a second, there are still some major lifestyle adjustments that have come our way.  We now have a few "rules" we live by, a "code of family ethics" if you will:

• Rule #1:  Pick your battles.  If you don't - you will spend your entire day arguing, negotiating and nagging.  It's not worth it.  Let the child eat his spaghetti with a spoon.  Let him wear pajama pants with his polo shirt.  Let him wear boots in the Georgia summer heat.  Let the child watch an extra 30 minutes of cartoons.  Depending on how the day is going, you may even need to let him play with the soap dispenser in his bathroom.  Just let the small stuff go.  I promise, once you get over the thought of being stared at by parents of one or two children, you'll feel better and more free.  In fact, you may even like this new existence.  Now if a lady with 5 or more children is staring at you in disbelief, you may need to reevaluate the battles you're picking.
• Rule #2:  You don't just hop in the car and go anywhere.  In fact, "hopping in the car" no longer even exists in our world, because getting everyone into the car is a nightmare.  And I'm not talking about getting everyone dressed, fed, pottied and to the car.  I'm talking about simply getting in the car.  Buckling three children in their respective car seats is enough to make me want to lie down in front of the car as it backs down the driveway.  The baby is easy - we buckle her into her car seat inside the house and click her in.  Good to go.  Brooks, however is where the trouble begins.  He rides in the third row.  Getting him to the third row is enough of a challenge because as soon as the climbs in the car, he's going for the driver's seat.  So I have to hold his little arm and escort him to the rear of the vehicle.  (And please don't assume that you would simply "lay down the law and with better parenting, the child would obey."  Please.  This is one of those times when rule #1 comes into play.)  So now I'm struggling to lift my 38lb 2 1/2 year old into a five-point harness while my baby is crying in her car seat, and my four year old is either playing in the parking lot alone or in the already cramped car with us pulling on my pants, which in effect causes my pants to slip further and further down my backside until my love handles AND my crack are showing.  Awesome.  So now I buckle Will in.  No problem until I realize that I'm trapped in the car by carseats on each side.  I either have to climb over the center console (more crack involved) or climb over the 4 year old without breaking his legs or somehow shoving my boobs in his face.  Ugh.  So yea.  No more "let's get out of the house" trips to Starbucks.
• Rule #3:  Babysitters are hard to come by.  They just are.  People are more than willing to take one child, and maybe two if both are potty trained.  But when you are looking for a babysitter for three little people, all of a sudden things get hairy.  I understand completely.  It's like taking in a whole family.  And because babysitters are hard to come by, so are date nights. 
• Rule #4:  The clothing debacle.  Siigghhhh... My boys used to dress nicely.  Our first was always dressed amazingly well.  And because I had more than enough time to treat stains, keep laundry separated, and then store them neatly once outgrown, our second inherited a lot of amazing clothing.  But with the second child came less time for buying, treating and organizing.  And with the third child came the great clothing debacle.  HOLY crap.  We are swimming in a sea of little people clothing, all of which is wrinkled, most of which is stained, and none of which can be located when looking for it.  We have one boy in size 4, one boy in size 3 and a poor little girl with hair bows, leggings and dresses that her parents have no idea what to do with.  The right size hardly ever gets on the right boy, resulting in a 4 year old with a midriff-baring shirt and a 3 year old whose pants are falling off.  Our middle child changes clothes at least 5 times a day at his own requests and is going through a phase where he insists on wearing gloves (mismatched socks) on his hands at all times.  I'm over it.  In fact - I've come to call it individuality.
• Rule #5: You NEVER have enough time.  Trust me.  If you think you are running ahead of schedule, you are wrong.  So very wrong.  If you see that time has allowed you 15 more minutes than you thought you needed, keep right on full-steam ahead.  Because if you use that 15 minutes to do something crazy like sit down, pour another cup of coffee, or actually put on socks with your shoes, you will regret it.  As you are trying to get everyone out the door 15 minutes later, someone will pitch a fit, have to poop, poke another child in the eye, fall and scrape a knee, or forget their backpack.  I promise.  If time has allowed you 15 extra minutes, it's because time can foresee that you are going to need it.  Trust me.

I'll leave you with those things to ponder while I go find my Brooks a new pair of "gloves"....

Back to Work

Ladies and gentlemen, we are approaching reality.  Please buckle your seat belts and prepare for arrival.

Isn't it funny how quickly life brings reality back to you.  It's kind of like that beach vacation you take with your kids each year - just when they get adjusted and stop waking up at 5AM, it's time to go home.  Now the time has come for me to go back to work :(  I've spent 8 weeks getting three kiddos adjusted to mommy being at home and now we are all headed back for reality - or in their case, Grandma's.

The number one question I have been asked since having the baby is "Are you ready to go back to work yet?"  I'm not really sure how to answer that honestly.  The truth is, it doesn't matter how I feel about it, because I have to go back.  So even if I felt sad about going back to work (which I do), I have to put my big girl panties on and go back.  And that's fine - over the years, I've accumulated a lot of big girl panties, so I should have some in stock ;)  But I don't live in some sort of fantasy land where I think I am entitled to stay at home because I have given birth to a child.  The major determining factor in whether or not mommy works or doesn't in our home is health coverage for myself in our three munchkins.  Although my husband's company provides his coverage, they don't cover families.  Yes, he could find a job where they did, but he absolutely loves his job and I would never in a million years ask him to leave a job that he loves so that I can stay at home.  I think it's such a true rarity for someone to LOVE their job (not just tolerate or even like) and I'm glad he has that.

And because we both work outside of the home, our family gets an occasional vacation, my son attends a preschool that I love, and my addiction to super cool children's shoes for my kids is not seen as life altering.

I have truly enjoyed my time off with my babies. I got to take Will to school and pick him up, which to you stay-at-home mommas may sound like nothing special, but I have never gotten to do that with him. Brooks and I built lots of forts and he learned how to pedal his bicycle while I was out of leave.  I got to take all three babies on Will's field trip to the apple orchard last Friday, where we picked apples and had a picnic.  Those are all things I would have missed had I been at work.  Of course, Miss Tessa and I have enjoyed lots and lots of snuggles.  She is SUCH a sweet baby and I am truly going to miss having her as my little sidekick throughout the day.  Maybe my boss wouldn't notice if I just put her under my desk in her little bouncy seat??

As you can probably tell, I'm trying to stay positive, but the truth is that for the first time in three maternity leaves, I'm sad to go back.  Not because I think I'm an awesome stay-at-home mommy.  I'm not that great at it actually.  I am usually frazzled before breakfast and counting the hours until daddy gets home by 3.  My boys don't always mind, they may or may not take naps, and I definitely don't do any fun crafts.  Craft time is "let's go outside and play in the dirt".  I'm just going to miss my babies.  Someone once told me that it's easy to go back to work when you're children are infants, but harder as they get older.  I think that is so true.  I think a lot of the reason why I'm sad about going back this time is because I got a little taste of everything I'm missing with my boys.  I'm also pretty nervous about going back to work.  I had a REALLY bad experience when I came back to work from maternity leave with Brooks (with a different company) and as Brandon would say, I'm a little "gun-shy" this go around.  My office is pretty small - only 7 people including myself, and the group dynamic can change so much when one person is out.  I kind of feel like I'm going in blindly tomorrow.  Who knows what changes will be waiting for me :/

BUT - I do want to stay positive, and I want to give credit where credit is due:

To my husband who will probably never read this:  he has been such a help for the last 8 weeks.   Not many dads would tackle caring for three young children like he does.  I'm always amazed at how well he does with them and how well my boys mind him.  I never ever worry about leaving them with him.  I've had a couple of dinners with girlfriends, evening walks with my neighbor, etc.  and he never gives me a hard time about needing some me time.  He is also such a big support system for me.  When I feel crappy about how I look, the weight I haven't lost, or the clothes that I can't get into, he tells me how beautiful I am, he tells me to go shopping, or keeps the kids so that I can get some exercise.  Seriously, every girl should have a husband like him!

To my in-laws:  they have been so helpful with my kids.  If I needed a day with a few less bottoms to wipe, they would come and get the boys for the day.  If Brandon and I needed a night out, they would watch them so that we could go to dinner.  And ultimately, they will also be keeping all three babies 5 days a week when I go back to work and there is not enough time in the day for me to thank them enough for that.  They will be doing Will's preschool drop-off and pick-up too which is not exactly just down the street for them.  I am soooo grateful to have such wonderful in-laws.

To my parents:  although my parents both work, they are always stopping by on their days off to see the kids and me.  My boys looooovvvveeee their Gram and Pappaw and love their spend-the-night dates at my parents.  With three kids to get in the bed, and three kids who may or may not get up various times throughout the night, Brandon and I really appreciate those spend the night trips so that we only have to worry about Miss Tessa for just one night.  My mom also spent her only day off last week with me and Tessa at the mall while I tried on a blue million dresses for a wedding this past weekend.  I know what it's like to just have one day to do everything you need to get done on your day off, and I really appreciate that she chose to spend that time with me :)

For my friends and neighbors who have visited, made suppers, called and offered to help with the boys, you have no idea how much I appreciate each one of you.  If you ever want to find out who your sweetest friends are, have a baby.  They will be the ones who feed you, love on your baby, encourage you, and make you laugh even if it's just over the phone.  I am truly blessed with a great group of friends!

To all my friends out there who, like me, are working moms - I just picked up a copy of a book called Just Let Me Lie Down, by Kristin van Ogtrop.  She is a working mother of three and HILARIOUS.  In her book, she defines a working mom's balancing act:

Balancing Act: a hilarious notion that some feminist (or come to think of it, it may have been an antifeminist) came up with to describe what any working mother must do: that is, bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.  But the skillet is very, very heavy, and on certain days you don't even feel like you can pick it up.  Other days you'd like to use it as a weapon - and would, if it didn't mean certain arrest, which would have negative playground ramifications for your kids.  On these days you really are just acting, to very little applause.

So I'm back to the balancing act tomorrow.  I'm crazy nervous, pretty sad, but more or less just ready to get back to our reality.  Say a prayer for me - that I'm nervous over nothing, that the day flies by, and that my babies have a great day at Grandma's (that part I'm not very worried about).  Thanks in advance!!

Busy Busy Busy

Things have been right on schedule here at the Rutledge house lately - "right on schedule" as in "this ramblin' wreck is full steam ahead and you better get on or get out of the way!"  Whew!  I'm exhausted as I write this post, but I am trying to keep a good memoir of our life today and so I'm making time...

Our favorite photog, Karen Baker took Tessa's pictures 16 days after she was born, and I am so happy with the results.  Here are a few a lot of my faves:

I ordered this one for our "hall of babies"

(I have a large black and white of each one of my babies as newborns in our hallway)

I like this one because Brandon rarely smiles genuinely in photos, but he did in this one

I love the boys' blue eyes and how their little feet are intertwined in the background.  I wish Tessa was facing more toward the camera, but with three, a perfect shot is nearly impossible!

I also ordered a large one of this to hang above her crib.

We have been very busy since we came home from the beach - the time has come for me to return to work.  I go back this coming Monday and the last two weeks have been filled with all the things I needed to get done before I went back (since I will have ZERO vacay or sick days) - doctor appointments, teeth cleaning, cleaning out the closets, blah blah blah.... nothing too interesting, BUT -

Brandon and I are going to a wedding this weekend in Atlanta.  One of my sweetest friends & sorority sister is FINALLY marrying her boyfriend of a gazillion years :)  I'm so happy for her, but I have not been too excited about getting in a dress and being surrounded by a room full of beautiful, and a LOT skinnier than me, people.  Having 3 children in 4 years has not been kind to my figure :/  Nonetheless, Tessa, my mom and I hit the mall in hopes of finding something cute for the wedding.  We found several "maybes" and two that I really loved.  Because maternity leave isn't exactly cheap, I went with the less expensive option.  I also invested in a pair of Spanx to help with the aforementioned figure issues.  Ha!

On top of shopping for dresses this week, I'm taking the kiddies on an apple picking field trip on Friday with Will's preschool.  Saturday is the wedding festivities and then back to work on Monday! Friday is also Tessa's 2 month birthday.  I'm going to try and get posts done for both her 2 month birthday AND my thoughts on going back to work (since everyone's #1 question is "So are you ready to go back to work?")

Until next time...

A Working Mom's Post

Well, true to the form of a working mother, I'm a couple of days late posting this.  Chalk it up to working on the weekends!  On Friday, I linked up with Kelly's Korner to get to know some other working & blogging mommies.  I'm supposed to post any stories, tips, etc about being a working mother.

I really don't have a whole lot of tips about being a working mother, because there is NO WAY I can claim to have this under control.  Some days, it makes you feel like the worst mother in the world.  Other days, it makes me feel empowered.  There are days when I feel frustrated leaving my children in the hands of others and days when I feel relieved to have an outlet outside our home.

We are blessed to have two sets of grandparents nearby who split our childcare.  So my mother has the boys a few days a week, and my husband's parents have them the remaining 2-3 days (depending on whether we work the weekends).  This is an ideal (and free) situation for us.  And while that may be the best alternative to being a stay at home mommy, there are still days when I wish I could stay at home.

I often see my stay-at-home mommy friends post pictures of their child's crafts, play dates and handwriting on Facebook.  Those posts always make me sad because I feel like my boys miss out on so much of that stuff.  I try to cram preschool training and craft time in on the weekends, but it's tough when that's only 6-8 DAYS out of the entire month and that time is also shared with housework, errands, a husband and friends.  And you can forget playmates.  Unless it's an actually birthday party on the weekend, my boys rarely get to play with other kids outside of their cousins and preschool classmates.

We also deal with the issue of consistent discipline on a daily basis.  Imagine this - you have THREE separate sets of house rules, expectations and temperaments to deal with.  We are constantly struggling to train or re-train our boys on what's expected in our home because what doesn't fly at home, will sometimes fly with one grandmother and always fly with the other.  So I'm constantly having conversations about behavior, timeouts, punishments, etc.  with the grandparents.  As an example, my almost two year-old will always take one nap at home.  He will take two naps at my husband's parents and NO nap and my parent's home.  That's because he pushed the boundaries at each place until he knows how far he can get.  My oldest (almost four) whines a little too much, and his favorite phrase is "But ________ let's me do it!" And their infancy was a whole separate issue - bottles, naps, playtime.... the scheduling drove me nuts.

So yea, it's hard to trust others with raising your children, even if it is their own loving grandparents.  But there are lots of great things about it too.  My children have learned to develop wonderful relationships with other people from the very beginning of their lives.  They have such a special bond with both sets of grandparents, and to me (someone who had that same relationship with her grandparents) that is priceless. And there's no 24 hour after a fever rule with grandma.  If my kids are really sick, I do what I can to stay home with them.  If they have a low-grade fever with a cold - they go to grandma's.

So here are my (probably not useful) tips for surviving working motherhood:

• Find a job/boss that has children.  I've worked for one that didn't.  What a nightmare.
• Hire a cleaning person.  We do twice a month.  This cuts most of my house cleaning time in half on the 6-8 days per month I get to be at home.
• Make working-mom friends.  It sucks being the only friend who constantly misses playdates, lunches, etc..
• Communicate.  I call to check on my kids every day.  I want to know how they're behaving, what they're eating and all that other good stuff.  I don't care if it gets on anyone's nerves.  You've got my kid, so you've got my heart :)
• Make sure your husband is playing an active role in the home - cooking, cleaning, child-rearing.
• Turn your lunch break into "Me-Time".  Get your nails done, go to a park and read a book, blog, have lunch with a girl friend.  Otherwise, you'll find yourself wondering why you never have time to get a pedicure or read a book.
• Finally, when one of your stay-at-home mommy friends mentions that her job is the toughest in the world, don't argue.  Yes, we know our job is tough too, maybe even tougher.  But don't be jealous of her - you all know there are days (most likely on Sunday evening) when you're tired, your kids are cranky and all you can think about is getting back to the office and away from the whining.  She doesn't get to do that and that's probably a fitting punishment for a bragger ;)