A few months ago, I began to see a lot of my friends pinning things like 40 Ways to Pray for Your Husband and 8 Tips for Being A Better Wife. After I read a few of these, I felt so angry and I didn't know why. I couldn't really say that I don't want be a better wife - I do. I also couldn't say that I don't pray for my husband, because I do that as well - just not in the ways that these posts were suggesting. One highly repinned post suggested that I pray certain prayers for my husband. Some of them sounded logical enough - pray for his relationship with God - okay, sounds good. Others had me wrinkling my eyebrows - pray for him to continue being a good provider for our family. Pray for him to resist temptation from other women, etc, etc... huh? I'm confused - am I praying for my husband or am I praying for ME at this point? Why am I supposed to be spending my time in prayer with Christ keeping my husband from temptation, when I need to be praying that I keep MY OWN head on straight. When I finished the post, I felt like I was expected to carry the burden of my husband's indescretions. Like - if he cheats on me, is it because I didn't pray for him enough? OR if his job doesn't allow me to stay at home with our children, is he an inadequet husband and father? OH CRAP! What does this mean about me if I sometimes LIKE working outside of the home?? In the post titled 8 Tips for Being A Better Wife, the writer suggested "Don't make your husband ask you twice - if he asks you to do something, do it then and he'll know he can depend on you." Ummmmm - so does this mean that if I have to ask him 25 times to take the trash out that he clearly can't be trusted to feed the children if I have dinner with my girlfriend?? Or do I even get to have friends anymore?? I'm confused.
WHY in the world are we doing this to ourselves? Why are we becoming so obsessed with proving ourselves to be the most loving, self-sacrificing, all-encompassing wives and mothers on the planet?? I mean, is it not enough that we work hard, whether in the home or at the office, raise our babies and have loving relationships with our husbands? Why are we not satisfied with that? It seems these days, it's not enough to pour your kid a bowl of cereal and drop him off at school before a long day at the office. You're not doing enough if you're not hand sewing your child's halloween treats for pre-k (and lord forbid you don't send a similar small homemade gift for each appropriate federal holiday thereafter!) You obviously aren't spending enough quality time with your child if she's not reading by age 3. All of this AND you're not being the "best wife" if your husband asks you twice to pick up his dry cleaning.
I am so over it. I'm over having discussions about homemade baby food. Let the kid eat cheerios and bananas and mashed potatoes. I'm pretty sure that's what I was fed. I don't want to talk about how long it's appropriate to breastfeed. That's your business and no one else's. WHY does it matter to anyone other than the two people participating - unless it's your husband and then don't make him ask you twice to stop! Geeeezzzz ladies - stop the madness!
And when I say I'm over it - I really mean it. I am typing this to you from a happy and loving home where my husband warmed up his own leftovers tonight and fed the kids cheese puffs for supper as I walked with a neighbor. I was the dreaded mother who sent store bought valentines to the pre-k this year and I'm happily registering my oldest for PUBLIC kindergarten next week. Look - life is hard enough. I have decided to free myself from the craziness of Pinterest-inspired marriages and MOPS group lifestyles. I love my family. I love our life. And if my husband can't resist the temptation of other women without me spending an hour a day in prayer over it, then we've got bigger problems. Try it girls - let it go :0)
Amen and Amen.
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