Relay for Life 2011

Friday night, Brandon and I participated in Bartow County's Relay for Life.  This is an awesome event put on by The American Cancer Society and local organizations, churches and businesses.  Brandon and I attended the Survivor's dinner and then Brandon participated in the Survivor's lap.  

The Survivor's dinner was really neat.  The local nurses and oncologists that work with these cancer patients actually served the Survivors and their guests.  It was really an inspiring moment to sit in the dinner tent with lots of families who are also facing this cancer giant.  From an easy glance, you can see anxiety, pain, grief, and more importantly love and HOPE.  

After dinner, the Relay kicked off with the annual Survivor's lap.  This is where each cancer survivor stands together with their purple shirt and balloon and walks together.  It's easy for some, but for others it's all they can do to make that lap.  The survivors released balloons based on how long they have battled cancer.  For many (including us) it has been less than one year, but for most it has been 10+ years of chemotherapies, radiations and operations.  I had chill bumps all over when they released their balloons.

After the Survivor's lap, the Relay festivities began.  The company that I work for had a tent, so I spent a lot of time selling tacos and playing games with the kiddos.  We didn't take the boys because I wanted Brandon to be able to participate as he wanted and I had to work at the bank tent.  After the Survivor's lap, Brandon left to go get the boys but the poor little guys fell asleep before he could get them there.  The Relay goes all night long with the closing ceremony at 9 AM on Saturday.  We didn't stay all night because we both had to work the next day.  I tried to get a few pictures of Brandon with his family at the event.

If you get the opportunity to attend a Relay for Life event in your town, I can assure you that you will enjoy it.  You can't help but be touched by the amount of love and hope surrounding you.  And to be honest with you - you just never know when cancer will touch your life.  Last year, Brandon stood beside me on the sidelines watching the Survivor's take their victory lap.  This year, he was wearing purple.  It could be me next year, or my mother, or your mother or your husband.  Take the time to acknowledge how cancer affects the people surrounding you.  I promise you will be rewarded.

No Hair, No Problem

What was remaining of Brandon's hair is now gone, thanks to a short round of golf he played Thursday afternoon.  This was the first time he'd really worn a hat since his hair began falling out a few weeks ago.  He knew the hat would pull more hair out, so he had avoided it until this past Thursday.  His hair was so thin though, he had to wear a hat to play golf without getting burned.  When he came home and took off his hat, a lot of it was gone.  After a quick shower, all of it was gone.

He's not too fond of his new do, but I think it's awesome.  Why do I think it's awesome?  Because in a way it symbolizes so much.  He has been through hell and back since his cancer diagnosis in March - the diagnosis, a surgery, recovery, scans and chemo.  And he's still standing.  He's still a husband to me, a father to his two boys, a friend, a boss, a brother, and a son to his parents.  He is such a strong man and I know that he his on his way to a full recovery.  In just a few short weeks, his hair will start to grow back in, his strength will be back and the bruises on his iv arms will be gone.  I will be happy to see the new hair, and of course happy to see him completely well.  But when I think back to his hairless days, I will always be reminded of where we've been and how blessed we are.  I will always know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we can handle anything.

What We've Been Up To

That's right friends - that's hair you see there.  We did this a couple of weeks ago actually, but I'm just getting around to telling you about it.  Brandon's hair was falling out so badly that it was ending up in his mouth when he tried to talk, his food when he tried to eat, and his eyes when he tried to blink.  So one night about 10:00, I made the trip to Wally-world for a buzzer.  We went out on the front porch and buzzed it off in about 3 minutes.  It wasn't a clean shave - I was a little afraid to take it that low since I've never buzzed anyone's hair AND he was prone to infection at the time.  So he has a little buzz now.  There are several places that are completely bald (in the back where he sleeps on it), but mostly it's just extremely thin all over.  It's still falling out, but the cut helped manage the mess.

What else??  Oh yea - we took Will to see Kung Fu Panda 2 over the weekend.  The original Kung Fu Panda came on television a few weeks ago, so I DVRed it and he's been watching it ever since.  He really loved it, so we figured he would love the second one.  Plus, he loves the popcorn at the movies.

But the movie was kind of boring and didn't hold his interest at all.  We ended up leaving with only 30 minutes left, because Will was running up and down the aisle, talking too loud and kept faking that he had to poop just so he could go walk around in the hallway/bathroom.

And there's been a LOT of this -

This -

And this -

The Callaway Sprint Triathlon is one week from Sunday and I'm finally getting nervous.  I should mention that my goal is to finish the triathlon - NOT place/win/or even compete well.   I feel pretty confident in the bike and run legs.  My neighbor/training partner and I have been training for several months.  We've logged miles and miles on our bikes and followed them up with miles and miles of running.  But the swim.  The swim my friends is brutal.  If I don't drown in the first leg of this race, I'll be okay :)

Thoughtful Thursday

I have some of the greatest friends in the world.  A few times each week, someone will email/text/message me checking on me, Brandon and our little family.  I really appreciate each little surprise in my inbox - it totally brightens my day.  That being said, I exchanged a few emails this week that got me thinking...

In my previous, my-husband-doesn't-have-cancer life (it's really not a previous life, it just feels that way some times), some would say that I was a "stresser".  I had begun to stress about everything lately.  I know exactly when and why it started, and we don't have to go into the details.  Let's just say I went through a very stressful situation and stressing became a habit.  After tears, headaches, prayers and many discussions with my husband, I got myself out of that stressful situation and promised to stop stressing.  I wanted to be healthier - emotionally and mentally, for my family's sake.  But it didn't stop there.  By getting myself out of that stressful situation, I inherited new worries.  I started worrying about a new job, a new family budget, and then flu season hit and for the first time in my life, I saw myself as a paranoid person.  I was sooooo worried about my kids' health that I couldn't stop taking temps and lysoling the house.  I remember the day when Brandon told me "It's like you have to worry about something.  It's like  you have developed the habit of stressing."  I know you think I'm a crazy person right about now, but I'm telling you all of this to say this -

I was the WORST possible person to hear the words "your husband has cancer."  I'm willing to bet my mother was thinking "oh crap - Jessica is going to go off the deep end and I'm going to be spoon feeding her in a home somewhere."  But no.  Of course when I heard the news, I let myself have a good cry.  BUT - after that good cry, a calmness came over me.  I was sitting at our dining room table and God told me, "Jess - put your work boots on.  This is going to be tough, but you're tough."  When my friends email me to ask me how I'm doing, I know they are surprised to hear me say - calm and collected.  I get nervous every time he goes for a surgery, scan or treatment of course, but I'm okay.  I just know that Brandon is going to be okay.  I have never once thought about raising my babies without him.  I've never once thought about the two of us not growing old together.  So what happened?  How did I go from stressing about the flu (that my kids never caught) to being so calm when my husband has cancer?

God did it.  I truly and sincerely believe that He knew this was coming and he prepared me for this.  The doctors have no idea how long Brandon had the cancer before we found it, but they don't think it was there long - it was too aggressive of a cancer for it to be there long and not spread.  BUT God knew.  Almost two years ago, Brandon and I received the shocking news that I was pregnant for the second time.  We were not trying for a baby, and to be honest, I really had never considered having two-under-two.  That just wasn't for me.  So imagine our surprise!  But I really believe God knew that we needed to have our babies close together.  He knew that Brandon would soon lose his ability to have any more children.  (And what a wonderful addition that little guy is - Brooks melts our hearts every day).  And there were many many nights during that situation that started all this stressing, that I would say to God - "Why me?  Why are you allowing this to happen?"  But again, I think he knew that one day soon I would need to be a stronger person.  A person who can let go and let God.

So in the same way that we teach our children grace, humility, love, etc...  God has spent the last two years of my life teaching me strength.  And I'm okay.

A Bittersweet End

Well, he did it!  Brandon finished his chemotherapy treatments today!  Brandon will tell you that it has been by far the hardest thing he has ever had to endure, but he was a champ and persevered.  I am so incredibly proud of him.  He has taken each treatment with a smile on his face, even when he felt terrible.  If nothing else, this will be a great "life lesson" story for when our boys want to quit a sport or give up on any other dream of theirs.

So why the "Bittersweet" title?  Well friends, the chemo has done such a wonderful job killing cancer cells, that it also killed many other types of cells as well.  These cells are the ones that help a person's immune system fight infection and clot his blood.  So he's been label "neuropenic", which means his white blood cell counts have bottomed-out.  Neuropenia effects many patients of chemotherapy and is very common.  He's also a little congested and his temp is pretty stable at 99.0.  If his temp hits 100.5, we have to be cautious and call the doc.  So he's under careful eye right now.  The doctors ensure us that his counts should rise on their own within the next 4-5 days, but we won't be sure until his next check-up (June 2).  He's also having lots of nose bleeds, so we hope those clear up soon too.

Another speed bump - Brandon's hair started falling out today :(  He didn't notice it at first, but he wasn't feeling well and stayed home from work today.  After taking the boys to their grandparent's, he came home to get back in the bed and noticed the hair on his pillow.  He called to tell me at work, and I could tell he was bummed.  Today was supposed to be a happy day - his last chemo treatment, and somehow it was the same day his hair started falling out.  I came home early to take him to his treatment and he ran his hand through his hair - sure enough, a small handful came out.  He can also pull the hairs on his face out by simply rubbing them.  I tried to cheer him up, telling him it was no big deal and that we would just buzz it off, but alas, the neuropenia means no contact with hair clippers due to the risk of infection.  So in the mean time, he's bummed out and I am trying to clean the hair off the pillows before he sees it....

5 Days of Chemo Down, 2 More to Go

Days 3, 4 and 5 of chemotherapy were rough.  The regimens were the same as days 1 and 2, but with each additional day of chemo, Brandon grows more and more fatigued and exhausted.  You know how you feel the day after you've been in bed all day with a stomach bug? Sore, achey, weak, tired, with an uneasy stomach?  That's how Brandon feel times 100.  That's how he describes it to me.

Other issues have come up due to the chemo; such as indigestion, mouth/gum/tooth sensitivity, some restlessness (despite the extreme fatigue), and food aversions.  He wants something to eat, but nothing sounds good.  He's having to drink so much fluids, that he'll drink one or two orange gatorades, and then it will turn his stomach and he won't touch it again.  Then we move on to purple gatorade and the same thing happens.  So far, we've been through water, cranberry, cran-grape, orange, purple and blue gatorade, and now we're on yoo-hoos.  I would drive to Tennessee to get him something he would drink - that's how bad I need him to keep drinking.  So that's our biggest issue right now - getting him to drink something more than once!

I also try to get him out of the house every evening to walk for about 10-15 minutes.  We go when it starts to cool off, on a flat little walk down to the end of the road and back.  On Wednesday, he had to sit in the grass on the way back home.  He did better on Thursday, but we didn't try today.  Today has been kind of rough.  The anti-nausea meds are still working wonderfully, so thankfully we have been able to avoid that thus far.  

Thank you all for your continued prayers.  Brandon gets two days off (Sat. & Sun.) from chemo before he goes back on Monday.  After Monday's treatment, he'll be off the hook until the next Monday.  His white blood count will probably take a dive next week, which means we'll have to be extra careful about any contact with viruses.  That should be fun with the kiddos.  

Days 1 & 2 of Chemotherapy

Brandon began chemotherapy on Monday.  So far, he has completed two treatments and will have five more - 3 more this week, and then one treatment on each of the following two Mondays.  This is a scary thing I tell you.  It's an awful, potent, but wonderful poison that you are knowingly pushing through your veins.  It's scary.

Brandon has been wonderful though.  We went early Monday morning and the nurses started his IV steroid (for nausea) and fluids.  Brandon's chemo regimen is a bit unusual.  He is actually being treated with three different chemotherapy drugs at once - bleomycin, etopocide, and cisplatin.  They are given separately during each treatment, which drags each session out for hours and hours (5 or 6 each day).  After the initial fluids, the nurse ask Brandon to stand up so that she could put a sheet under him in his chair while she gave him a "test dose" of the bleomycin.  When I ask why, she simply replied that a sheet underneath him would make it much easier to move him in case of reaction.  Yikes.

She pushed a small amount of the "bleo" in to test, and he did fine.  Within a few minutes, the nurse was satisfied and she continued with the rest of the bleo regimen.  After 30 mins, they switched drugs on him - this time it was Etopocide.  This just sounds awful.  After this treatment (which lasted about one hour), the nurse gave Brandon a diuretic through his IV - this makes him empty his bladder every few minutes. They explained that the next treatment, the cisplatin, is very toxic to the kidneys and it is very important for Brandon to empty his bladder often.  If the cisplatin sits in his kidneys, it will poison them and cause bad things to happen.  After the two hours of cisplatin (and many many trips to the potty) we were free to go home.  

We were glad to get home, where I made Brandon a chocolate milkshake and he was able to rest.  He hasn't felt too nauseous (they have given him lots of anti-nausea meds to keep in his arsenal though), but he has been very tired.  The nurses have the opinion that his tiredness is probably more from sitting all day than the chemo at this point.  They say that the latter part of this week and weekend will be when Brandon's symptoms are at their peek.  

But Brandon is an all-star.  He still has his humor and has been eating, drinking, and sleeping well.  The nurses love him - probably because he's the youngest person they're treating by 40 years.  He really enjoys the phone calls, texts, and messages everyone has been sending.  

Excuse my poor writing skills tonight - I'm rambling and I'm probably making no sense.  I wanted to keep you updated, but to be honest I'm exhausted and my nerves are shot :)

Goodnight friends - here is my handsome husband - even while getting chemo :)

The verdict is in

and Chemo it is.  After Brandon's oncologist spoke with his colleague in Indiana, they recommended chemotherapy.  Brandon has done plenty of thinking, praying and talking about his options over the last few days.  Even before he heard back from the doctor, Brandon was leaning toward the chemo.

In his words - he "just wants it to be over and move on."

So Brandon will go tomorrow for blood work, and again next week to meet with his oncologist to finalize the plan and get a few remaining questions answered before starting the chemotherapy the following week.    Both doctors recommended only one round of BEP chemotherapy.  This is good news.  For Brandon, one "round" will look something like this:

Monday (4-5 hours of treatment)
Tuesday (1-2 hours)
Wednesday (1-2 hours)
Thursday (1-2 hours)
Friday (1-2 hours)
Saturday / Sunday (no treatment)
Monday (4-5 hours of treatment)

After those six treatments, he will be "off" for 3 weeks, but still going in weekly for labs, blood counts, etc.  BEP chemotherapy is tough.  There are plenty of side effects, both short and long-term.  Short term side effects include nausea, exhaustion, hair loss, immune deficiency, acid reflux, dry mouth, etc....  Long term side effects include sterility, possible lung scarring and kidney damage, and greater risk of developing leukemia later in life.  I will be honest and tell you that we're both nervous.  Probably me more than Brandon though.

He is strong, both physically and mentally.  I know he can handle the short term side effects.  I have full confidence in Brandon.  Neither of us however, expected to have to make a decision about fertility at 27 years-old.  We had not decided 100% that we would never have another child.  We definitely knew that it wasn't something we wanted right now (we have our hands full as it is!), but we always wanted to keep our options open for a few years down the road when the boys were older and more independent and we weren't scrambling to get through the day with two babies.  Yes, we could look into sperm banking, but that is quite expensive on a monthly basis, not to mention the cost of artificial insemination when we're actually ready to use them.  If we wanted to have another child soon, then yes - that would be a no-brainer.  But because it may be 5-7 years, the cost alone is too daunting.  So we've decided not to bank the sperm (you may remember Lance Armstrong just having a child last year through this method.)  We have always talked about a possible adoption in our future, and if anything, this just solidifies that desire.  But to be honest, I came home last night and looked at my precious boys - one who looks like his mommy and one who looks just like his daddy, and it made my heart ache to imagine never having another little chubby-cheeked or thick-haired baby with Brandon's eyes or my mannerisms running around.

I just keep reminding myself that this is all part of God's plan for our family.  I have no idea why he chose this plan for us, but he did and we have to trust him.  It's easy to get down.  It's easy to wonder "why Brandon?"  or "what did we do to deserve this?"  But I try to push those feelings aside and focus on the positives in this situation - Brandon and I have been through soooo much with only 5 years of marriage under our belts.   Our relationship is stronger than ever.  We have done a lot of leaning on each other throughout this time period and I know that we can handle whatever comes our way.

Continue to pray for Brandon as he enters this phase of his diagnosis.  And of course - I'll update along the way :)

Decisions... Decisions....

Brandon had his first appointment with his oncologist today.  It went really well.  We both really liked the doctor, and felt extremely comfortable with him.  Neither of us really knew what to expect from this appointment, but we both had loads of questions for the doc.  The doctor had reviewed Brandon's medical charts and also had the results of the full body bone scan that Brandon had done on Wednesday.  Here is another opportunity to praise the lord - the bone scan was completely clean.  It had NOT spread to the bone!!  This is exactly what his urologist predicted, but it was great to hear nonetheless.

After talking to Brandon about his medical history, the doctor explained that although at least 98% of Brandon's cancer was the lesser aggressive seminoma cells, the remaining 2% came back as non-seminoma (a more aggressive form of testicular cancer).  There are many different forms of non-seminoma cancers that can be found in the testicle.  The type that Brandon has is called embryonal carcinoma.  This is a relatively uncommon, but very aggressive form of cancer.  The doctor explained that often times, when this type of cancer is found, it has already invaded the lymph nodes.  For this reason, Brandon's diagnosis is Stage 1B testicular cancer.  So where does that leave us??

Brandon's first option is what they call "surveillance".  This would mean no immediate treatment, but Brandon would go once every three months for labs, CT scans and tumor markers.  If anything changes from his current stage - chemotherapy.  This would go on for 5 years before he was considered cured.  That's a lot of scans people.  The doctor explained that Brandon has a 20% chance of the cancer returning based on the type of cancer found.  He also explained that this choice was only a good one if Brandon could commit himself to this strict follow-up regimen for the next few years.

Option 2 (which Brandon and I both feel isn't a very good one) - a surgery to remove and dissect the lymph nodes on Brandon's lower abdomen to determine if there is any remaining cancer cells in the lymph nodes that are too small to show on the CT.  (Apparently even though Brandon's CT shows no lymphatic invasion, there is still a chance that the cancer has spread there, but is too microscopic to show on the scan).  If there is cancer found - chemotherapy.  If there is no cancer found - surveillance.  That is why Brandon and I feel like this option isn't for us.  Either way, he would be going back to one of the other two options.  AND the surgery would be another rough set back for Brandon.  The recovery would be more lengthy than his recent surgery, and more painful.

Option 3 - one to two rounds of BEP chemotherapy.  Obviously, chemotherapy has a lot of side effects.  And no one wants to have to endure this if unneccessary.  But the good thing about this option is that Brandon can move on with his life afterwards.  The cancer will be gone and he won't be waiting on it to show up again in his scans.

Brandon's oncologist is also discussing Brandon's case with a doctor out of Indiana (the same doctor who treated Lance Armstrong) to get his recommendation.  Normally, with the embryonal carcinoma cancer, chemotherapy is a must.  But Brandon only had 2% show up in his pathology, so that seems to be the hang up.  Does he need to risk it not spreading or risk the side effects of the chemo??

Brandon has a lot to think about, and I'm praying that he will come to a decision peacefully himself.  I don't want him to feel persuaded one way or another by his crazy wife :)  In my heart of hearts, I feel like Brandon will go with whatever the doctor from Indiana recommends (who wouldn't?)  We should have his recommendation by the middle of next week and we will go from there.  Continue to pray for Brandon - he has a big decision to make this week.

The Results Are In!!!

After the longest weekend of our lives, we went back to the urologist this afternoon for the results of Brandon's CT scan.  Let me start with "PRAISE THE LORD!"  The results came back really well.  The scan showed no lymphatic invasion or spread to remaining organs.  This is wonderful news!  There were a few "bright spots" that showed up on Brandon's bones in the hip and pelvic area.  For this reason, the doctor has ordered a full body bone scan (on Wednesday) to be on the safe side. But in his words, he feels "like the probability of bone spread is rare with normal tumor markers (which Brandon had) and no lymphatic spread."  He says it could just simply be high density bone, but it would definitely change our course of treatment if it were cancer, so we've decided to go ahead with the scan.

The remaining pathology report did show non-seminoma cancer cells.  This is the more aggressive, faster spreading cancer.  It seems to make up less than 5% of the cancer, with the majority being the lesser aggressive non-seminoma.  This does however change the course of treatment.  Because non-seminomas have a higher chance of spread and recurrence, Brandon will definitely have to endure a few rounds of chemotherapy.  This is a bummer, but nothing we can't handle.  Brandon has been referred to an oncologist at The Hope Center and we have our first appointment on Friday to discuss his treatment plan-of-action.

Brandon is extremely pleased with the results and I can even see the relief in him.  We are now thanking God for his mercy and strength.  I know this is nothing that He can't handle.  And now I am believing in him for a clean bone scan (I mean, the man does love that whole milk!) and for good health and strength for Brandon throughout his treatments.  I know this is possible through Him.  I know it.

Barney and Brandon's CT

What a combination!  Believe it or not, that should be the title of my life these days.  I'm trying to remain an involved, joyful, caring mother to two toddlers, all while trying to be with Brandon every step of the way.  It's all good though.  I know that I am so blessed to have my wonderful husband and two babies in my life - even if that means enduring an hour and half of Barney live in concert :)

Gamma and I took the Wilster to Phillips Arena this morning to Barney Live! They are celebrating Barney's birthday and that was very fitting, as Will's 3rd birthday is coming up and just a few weeks.

We had floor seats - I know you're jealous :) 

 I love this picture of Will.  It melts my heart.  He is sitting patiently, holding his stuffed BJ, and waiting on Barney to come on stage.  His only worry in the world is probably "will I be able to see Barney?" I love that about my boys, especially these days - they are so carefree.

 These two are two peas in a pod.  Neither one of them are looking at the camera, but they're both looking in different directions?

 Waiting on Barney!

And now you see the part where he's ready to go.  The attention span of an almost-three-year-old boy is slim-to-none!

After Barney was over, I drove like a mad woman to get out of Atlanta and to Cartersville Medical Center, where Brandon was having his first CT Scan.  Of course, I knew we wouldn't hear the results of the scan today, but I thought it was important to be there for him nonetheless.  I had ask his dad (and best friend) to go with him too, just in case I didn't make it.  BUT - low and behold - I made it just in time!

Against their wishes, I snapped a shot of them.  This was after the nasty drink Brandon had to drink, but before the scan.

I love those two!  It might seem ridiculous that I take these photos, but Brandon's fight could be so inspiring to so many, so I do.  AND - when he beats this, this will all be a memory and we'll have the pictures to remind us that we can overcome tough times :)

We go back to the doctor on Monday afternoon to get the results of the scan and remaining pathology.  Happy weekend friends!

Testicular Cancer

This is what it is.  This is what my family has been dealing with the last few weeks.  This is what my friends and family have been praying for.  This is what Brandon has been diagnosed with and had surgery to remove.  Testicular cancer.

I won't pretend to be an expert, but I am learning a lot about it as we move through this stage of our lives....

The surgery that happened a week ago removed the area in which we knew the tumors were.  Those tumors were sent off to pathology where they examined them and made the official diagnosis - testicular cancer.  We were told almost two weeks ago that they were 90 - 95% sure that Brandon had testicular cancer.  So this was no surprise (although I will admit I had hoped and prayed they were wrong).  But now we are sure, and now we know what types of cancerous tumors they were.  The official pathology report is still pending.  Part of the tumors could not be diagnosed fully and have been sent off to the Mayo Clinic.  BUT - 90% of the report is in and those tumors have been diagnosed as seminoma.  This is a slow-growing germ cell tumor that responds very well to radiation therapy, and also has a very high cure rate.  The remaining 10% of cancerous tumors have not been identified as either seminoma or non-seminoma.  Non-seminoma is a more aggressive cancer cell that spreads quickly and needs chemotherapy as treatment.  There are lots of websites offering more details if you are interested - like this one.

So there you have it.  The hospital is supposed to contact us within the next two days to set up the pelvic, abdominal and chest CT scan.  This will determine if the cancer has spread to any of those regions, as those areas are the typical subsequent affected areas of testicular cancer.  Regardless of whether or not the cancer has spread to those regions, Brandon's urologist has referred us to an oncologist at The Hope Center in Cartersville, GA.  He says that more than likely, if all tumors come back as seminomas, Brandon will undergo a few rounds of radiation therapy to ensure that no new cancerous cells grow back in that region.  If the remaining 10% comes back as non-seminomas, then he will undergo both chemo and radiation, as the two different types of cancer respond differently to the separate treatments.  And of course, if the CT scan shows any cancerous cells in the aforementioned regions - more chemotherapy. 

The good news in all of this is that we're dealing with a form of cancer that has a very high cure rate and is very responsive to treatments.  Also good news - the preliminary examination of the tumors seemed to show that the cancerous germ cells had not penetrated out of the testicle that was removed.  But that was the preliminary exam, and we will know more as the results trickle in throughout the next few days.  

The CT results should be concluded within a few days of the scan, at which time we will go back to the doctor for the news and then get our referral to an oncologist.  Thank you all for your continued support, encouragement and prayers.  Brandon is extremely positive and I'm trying my very best to be.  Of course, no one wants to hear that their sweetheart has cancer.  But I believe in God's healing power.  And I believe in Brandon.  He means the world to me, and I would follow him to the end of the earth - even if that includes oncology appointments and cancer treatments.

Please continue to pray.  We need it now more than ever.

When life gives you lemons...

You know the rest :)  This post is a hodgepodge of our lemonade.

Brandon is doing well, considering the circumstances.  He has a wonderful attitude and is feeling much better today.  Tuesday was pretty rough for him - he was in a great deal of pain and the pain medicine prescribed to him makes him itch.  He chose the itching over the pain yesterday, but today he has managed the pain with less meds.  To get his walking exercises in, he has been helping me with laundry by walking one or two pieces of clothes at a time to the closet to hang up and this -

His favorite pastime - xbox 360 (standing of course)

The boys have been staying with their grandparents the past few nights.  To be honest, I'm a little scared to have them around Brandon for too long right now.  It took all of about 10 minutes for Will to run into his dad's lower stomach last night.  That was pretty painful for Brandon, so for now they come over in the evenings and eat dinner with us, play and hang out, and then they are going back to their grandparent's to spend the night.  I keep saying "one more day...."  But I do have a few cute pics of them playing outside recently.

 So what have I been up to?  Well today was my first day back at the office.  But other than that, just call me "Nurse Jessica".  

A funny - this morning, I made sure to get Brandon all set up before I left for work.  I made his breakfast and put it beside the bed, I got his meds ready with a fresh drink, gave him the remote and a new ice pack.  I kissed him on the noggin and told him I would be calling him soon.   His parents came to check on him a few hours later, and he hobbled to the door with one sock on and one in his hand.  He can barely lift his right leg (the side of his operation), so he couldn't manage to get his sock on and had spent the better part of the day with only one sock!  I made myself a mental note to get his socks on in the morning before I leave :)

Also, I confess my habitual online shopping habits.  Only, it's not as bad as one might think - I don't actually buy the items, I just fill the "cart" with all of my wish list items, then close the website.  I just can't do it.  I hate hate hate spending money!  BUT - I came upon a great coupon via Piperlime for the kids' shoes.  I love this store and have had wonderful experiences with them in the past.  The coupon is for 20% off 2 pairs, 25% off 3 pairs, or 30% off 4 pairs of kid's shoes.  The coupon is only good through 3/31 - but enter "SAVINGS" to get the deal.  Well, you do the math - 2 kiddos = lots of tiny shoes in our house.

They both scored a pair of these super cute rain boots.  Western Chief makes great boots - we also own a pair of the Thomas the Train boots that Will has outgrown, but Brooks hasn't grown into yet.

And I ordered both boys this super fun pair of bright summer sneakers!

I'm also brainstorming ideas for our 5th wedding anniversary coming up in May :)  We were already planning to do something really special for this milestone, but given all that we've been through recently, I've decided that we're going somewhere AWESOME this year!  

I really want to visit Charleston, SC.  Neither of us have ever been before, so that would be fun and exciting.  Plus, I think Charleston would be really romantic.  BUT, I want to consider Brandon's thoughts too.  Charleston seems a little frilly for a guy and if anyone deserves an awesome trip, its Brandon!  So now I'm kind of at a loss.  Any suggestions from you guys are welcome - either in Charleston or elsewhere :)

And again - thank so much to our friends and family who have been so kind this week.  We have both gained at least 5 pounds from all the goodies and suppers we have been given :)