A Baby Story (Part 2)

It was brought to my attention that I still owe you guys another pregnancy post.  Ahhhhhh.....where to start?  If you missed the first one, you can find it here.

Sooooooo, I'm not going to lie to you, when we first discovered that I was pregnant neither one of us could wipe the shock off of our faces.  There was no jumping up and down.  There was no tears of joy (or tears of sadness either for that matter).  We were just in complete and utter shock.  We told my parents and his parents.  They were excited (I was a little nervous about how they would take the news considering they are our daycare childcare).  We made them swear not to tell anyone.  Not my brother.  Not their best friends or Brandon's grandmother.  No one.  We did this for several reasons: 1 - we were told Brandon couldn't have children.  He had just finished a very strong chemo regimen this summer and we were concerned about the possible effects of that treatment and/or his condition on a baby.  The 2nd reason we didn't want them to tell was simple - we needed time to wrap our minds around becoming a family of five and honestly, to get excited about the news ourselves.  You may think that sounds terrible of me.  When you tell someone that you're expecting, they expect you to be beaming with excitement.  We couldn't beam with excitement because all we could muster was shock.  When you've been told you would never have any more children and you stop dreaming about holding newborns and you begin day dreaming about taking your kids to tee ball practice and finally getting over the terrible twos and even-worse-than-terrible threes, it's hard to go back to that place.   

I felt terrible.  I was nauseous all day.  I was even sicker at night.  My favorite food - Mexican food - was a complete disaster zone.  And ooohhhhhh the exhaustion.  I would be sooooo tired at work that I had a hard time even holding my head up on its own, much less dealing with customers and co-workers.  I would literally be in the bed asleep by 8:30 every night.   I was 5-6 weeks along when we found out.  We trudged along and at 8 weeks, we went in to see the doctor (who has delivered both of my boys) and boy were they shocked and delighted by our story.  Everyone had a good laugh at our expense and we decided to do an early ultrasound to check for those concerns I mentioned earlier in my post.  Everything looked great that day and we heard Bean 3's galloping little heart beat.  At that point, we broke the news to our extended family and friends and made it "Facebook Official."

Since that time, my symptoms come and go.  I'll have several really good days and then I'll have a couple of bad days.  I've been able to eat Mexican sporadically (which is good since that makes up 1/2 of the restaurants in our town).  The tiredness is still my worst enemy, considering there are two little boys with an abundance of energy who live under the same roof.  I'm still in bed before 9:00 at least four nights a week.  My appetite is in full force though.  I've always said that pregnancy is the only time in your life when you want to eat and throw up at the same time.  I don't have any constant cravings yet, but I'll crave something really sweet like chocolate brownies or fruit loops one minute and then I want chips and salsa or spicy hot wings before bed.  I don't always give into these cravings, but I'll usually have that craving until I finally give in and eat it.  It may go on for days, depending on the level of groceries in the house.

And if I'm still being honest, I'm still adjusting my vision of our little family.  I recently gave away all things baby related.  Everything from maternity clothes to car seats to strollers, swings, clothes and burp cloths.  I now get to reinvest in all of this baby-related gear, but I just can't pull the trigger.  Our monitor bit the dust a few months ago, and although I found a really great deal on one this past week, I couldn't do it just yet.  Because the older boys will now be sharing a room, we need two twin beds + mattresses, sheets, comforters, etc...  I found some pretty decent matching antique twin beds in a local antique store last week and walked away from them.  I don't know why.  It just doesn't seem real yet.  We find out the gender of Bean 3 in less than two weeks and Brandon and I still haven't seriously thrown around any names.

Don't take this the wrong way - we're not upset about our little miracle.  We know how blessed we are and we're getting more and more excited every day.  It's just something that we had thought was impossible and now here we are preparing for that impossible little bean to have a room in our home.  We told the boys this past weekend that we're getting a new baby.  Brooks was oblivious of course, but Will seemed excited (not bouncing off the walls excited - he never gets too excited after all).  This spawned a LOT of questions I wasn't ready for - "How did the baby get in your belly?"  "How will the baby get out?" etc....  He also refers to it as a "she" even though we've explained that God may give us a boy OR a girl.  When asked what we should name it, we get crazy answers like "Baby Butt Butt" or "Minnie Mouse".

So there you have it, my truthful rendition of how I've been feeling.  I'll be sure and keep you guys posted along the way.  I also have a couple of funny posts coming up, courtesy of the Willster himself ;)