What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Lady

Okay, this seems like common sense to me, but I've discovered that the common sense gene is not so widely spread these days.  I've really only made this discovery since I have worked very closely with the general public for the last two years.  I just canNOT believe the things that grown adults let come out of their mouths on a daily basis.  In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that my FOUR YEAR OLD has better filtering skills than some of the people I deal with.  So let's discuss specifics...

Let's start with you girls -

For HEAVEN'S SAKE ladies, what is the matter with you?  You should know better than to make any sorts of comments to a pregnant lady on her appearance, stature, posture or walk.  Even if you think you are saying something nice, it probably will not come out the way you intend it to.  For example - when this 38.5 week pregnant lady walks into the children's clothing store that you are working at, dressed in a black dress and flat sandals on a 95 degree day in July with her BANK NAME TAG on at lunch time, it would be obvious to me that this lady is shopping on her lunch break.  This means she is still working and based on her attire, has put some degree of effort into her appearance that day.  This would NOT be a good time to say "Well don't you look comfortable?"  WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  Because, to me (the 38.5 week preggo that just waddled into your store) it means Why didn't you just throw on some pajama pants and come on in because you look like you just rolled out of bed and into Gymboree? Of course I'm not comfortable!  I'm not even comfortable when I AM in fact lying around in my pajama pants.  And that was my cutest outfit that still fits!  Ugh. 

It is also never appropriate to say anything similar to "You look tired", "You look exhausted" or "You look like you're ready to have that baby."  What does that mean?  Of course I'm ready to have this baby.  And I am secretly praying that my water breaks on your cute little unswollen pedicured toes :)

OK men (although I doubt I have many male readers - ladies PLEASE make sure your man knows better than this) -

Unless you are actually wearing a white coat with the initials M.D. on it at the time of conversation, it is NEVER EVER appropriate for a man to even speak the words dilation, cervix, vaginal delivery, or mucus plug.  Yes.  I said mucus plug.  This happened to me today.  From a customer.  I (in a very professional manner) gagged right into the phone.

I also do not want to discuss breastfeeding or episiotomies with you.  This is likely something you know absolutely NOTHING about, no matter how many times you have seen your wife do it or watched it happen on Grey's Anatomy. 

And men - it's always best just to keep your comments to yourself when dealing with a pregnant lady.  Comments such as "You haven't had that baby yet?" or "Are you sure you're not having twins?" are not taken well.  Unless there is a leg hanging from my crotch, do NOT comment.  And then you may only offer me a place to sit. 

I'm not making this stuff up people.  There are soooo many opportunities for you to make a pregnant girl's day by saying something nice.  If you are a woman, it is always nice to LIE to a pregnant lady and say things such as "You look so great!"  or "You are all baby!" or "Gosh I wished I looked as good as you at ____ weeks pregnant!"  I don't care if you looked like Molly Sims at 9 months pregnant, LIE.

If you are a man, it's just best to keep your mouth closed and only offer material gifts of substantial value :) Because I hate to tell you this, but the swollen, aggravated, waddling woman in front of you is growing a person, and that is something you could never do, no matter how many times you google mucus plugs.

38 Weeks Pregnant

Friends, I apologize for all my lack-luster blogging these days - what can I say?  I'm 38 months weeks pregnant in the 100 degree July heat and I'm tired.  I can NOT wait to have this baby.  All 10lbs of her probably.... 

So let's see what you've missed:

How am I feeling?:  eh.  I feel okay.  I can't honestly say that I feel great.  I can't honestly say that I feel horrid.  Some days are better than others - we're watching my blood pressure slowly creep up and on the days that I feel the worst, I know that it's because of my blood pressure (headaches, swelling, tiredness).

Swelling?:  I used to only have swollen ankles on the days that I was on my feet a lot at work, but now they're pretty consistently swollen each afternoon.  My hands and face have stayed the same though, thank goodness!

Any signs of labor?:  I'm having tons of Braxton Hicks contractions - some of them actually take my breath but none that I would classify as painful.  Sometimes I feel really crampy in my lower back, sides and hips - similar to the way it feels when a contraction starts, but then it goes away without becoming a full-blown contraction.  Either way - As of last Thursday, I'm 2cm dilated.

Are we ready?:  We're getting there!  We have the essentials nailed down - you know- the carseat, the diapers and the wipes.  We have a place for her to sleep for the first few weeks.  The nursery is still in progress and I'm 99% certain it won't be finished by the time she gets here.  Oh well - we have a heirloom cradle in our room, as well as the snugabunny infant seat - both of which my boys used for the first several weeks anyway.  I finally ordered her baby swing and baby monitor this week, so those should be here at least by the time she is ;)  Oh yea!  We also got a new (to us) vehicle to transport our daycare family in.  We were very very fortunate to be able to buy a family member's Yukon XL after they downsized.  The vehicle is in near-perfect condition and is a perfect fit for our family.  It has the captain's chairs in the middle section so I can easily get to the back seat for buckling/unbuckling.  That was a huge must for us in the car search, as well as ample storage room.  Basically, it came down to something like a Yukon XL or a mini van and neither Brandon or I were to enthused on the van idea....

I'm going to be honest though, I'm really tired of being pregnant.  My left hip is tired of being slept on all the time, my clothes are at that point where even they are straining to keep me covered, and I'm even more tired of everyone's cute comments.  Everyone always has something really original to say like "you haven't had that baby yet!?"  I really want to be a jerk and say "Yes - she's 4 weeks old."  and then fake cry, but this is coming mostly from customers at the bank and I think getting fired days before my maternity leave wouldn't benefit anyone either.

Maybe my next post will be a birth announcement of some sort ;)....................

Sweet Summertime

We've been way too busy for me to slow down long enough to blog.  I'm really sorry about that because I really do enjoy keeping this blog, but I'm not sorry for the fun memories we've been making in our last summer as a family of four :)  

Nearly every evening after work, we take the boys to the pool.  It has been sooooo hot and steamy here in GA the past few weeks and the boys have been stuck inside mostly until the evenings when the temps finally dip back down into double digits.  After a few hours of pool time in the evening, they drift off to sweet sleep pretty easily.  They are both doing really well in the pool.  Brooks is a jumping machine and we really have to be on our toes with him near the pool.  He has jumped into the 10 ft deep end without his floaties, causing his mommy to have a heart attack and his daddy to ruin his change of clothes for the day :/  Will has made the most improvement this year - he is pretty comfortable in the pool now and will swim both with his floaties and without (this depends on how many adults are in the pool and how well I can really supervise him).  He can hold his breath for a reallllly long time and loves to practice swimming under water.  He still doesn't really like to jump in, but I'm okay with that - one less kid to chase in and out of the water.  

We've really been diligent about getting them in the water as often as possible because I am afraid once miss Tessa makes her appearance, Mommy won't be able to enjoy the pool as much as she would like :)    Speaking of Tessa - things are moving right along with the now weekly doctor appointments.  This past week's appointment found me 2 cm dilated at 36 weeks.  I've had enough babies to know that doesn't always mean anything, but the doctors are also pretty concerned about her size.  Because Brooks was such a whopper, they've been watching her through regular growth ultrasounds.  At 34 weeks, they estimated Tessa already weighed around 6 lbs and 14 oz.  We have another ultrasound coming up at the end of this week to check her growth again.  I also know these are not always accurate, but it's hard to argue with getting to see her all the time :)  My doctors have really stressed not letting me go over due (like with Brooks) because of her size, and since I'm already making "progress", we've discussed an induction around the 39 week mark if she hasn't made her appearance by then.  I'm okay with that.  I know some people really hate inductions, but I've had two wonderful inductions and considering how fast I labor (1.5 hours with Will and about 50 mins with Brooks), and how far I am from the hospital (30 miles) - I'm okay with the induction theory.  

We also had a very laid-back 4th of July.  We visited my parents in the afternoon for some pool time and then took the boys to see the local fireworks.  With the holiday falling right smack in the middle of the week, there wasn't much more to it than that.  Here are a few pics of our holiday -

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer!